earsucker

In 1989, soldiers at Gitmo tortured detainees by playing them some hard rock and heavy metal. Looking at this list, I can see why some of it was torture. Seriously, Manuel Noriega got RickRolled!

The song choices were reportedly used to keep terrorists awake, but Kix, really? I could fall asleep every night to “Don’t Close Your Eyes”. They probably picked that song because of its title, or because this was the only music the troops had on hand.

Now, some musicians are asking for an official government list of songs that are used for torturing suspected terrorists. I could probably make a mixtape of some gangster rap that would work. Throw in some Pimp C, Notorious B.I.G., and some Eazy-E, that oughtta do it. Plus, add some whiney music like Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game”, “All Through The Night” by Cyndi Lauper, and maybe some U2.

That would make the detainees sleepy, so that the troops could keep them awake. This torture thing, you’re doing it wrong.

After the jump, for the entire list of torture songs…

1. (You’ve Got) Another Thing Coming — Judas Priest
2. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover — Paul Simon
3. All Over But The Crying — Georgia Satellites
4. All I Want is You — U2
5. Big Shot — Billy Joel
6. Blue Collar Man — Styx
7. Born to Run — Bruce Springsteen
8. Bring Down the Hammer — Georgia Satellites
9. Change — Tears for Fears
10. Cleaning Up The Town — The Bus Boys
11. Crying in the Chapel — Brenda Lee
12. Dancing in the Streets — David Bowie
13. Danger Zone — Kenny Loggins
14. Dead Man’s Party — Oingo Boingo
15. Don’t Look Back — Boston
16. Don’t Fear the Reaper — Blue Oyster Cult
17. Don’t Close Your Eyes — Kix
18. Eat My Shorts — Rick Dees
19. Electric Spanking of War Babies — Funkadelic
20. Feel a Whole Lot Better (When You’re Gone) — Tom Petty
21. Freedom Fighter — White Lion
22. Freedom, No Compromise — Little Steven
23. Ghost Rider — The Outlaws
24. Give It Up — KC and the Sunshine Band
25. Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down — Paul Young
26. Guilty — Bonham
27. Hang ‘Em High — Van Halen
28. Hanging Tough — New Kids on the Block
29. Heavens on Fire — KISS
30. Hello, It’s Me — Todd Rundgren
31. Hello, We’re Here — Tom T. Hall
32. Helter Skelter — The Beatles
33. I Fought The Law and the Law Won — Bobby Fuller
34. If I Had a Rocket Launcher — Bruce Cochran
35. In My Time of Dying — Led Zeppelin
36. Ironman — Black Sabbath
37. It Keeps You Running — Doobie Brothers
38. Judgment Day — Whitesnake
39. Jungle Love — Steve Miller Band
40. Just Like Jesse James — Cher
41. Mayor of Simpleton — XTC
42. Midnight Rider — Allmond Brothers Band
43. Mr. Blue — The Fleetwoods
44. Naughty Naughty — Danger Danger
45. Never Gonna Give You Up — Rick Astley
46. Never Tear Us Apart — INXS
47. No Particular Place to Go — Chuck Berry
48. No More Mister Nice Guy — Alice Cooper
49. No Alibis — Eric Clapton
50. Now You’re Messin’ With an SOB — Nazareth
51. Nowhere Man — The Beatles
52. Nowhere to Run — Martha and the Vandelas
53. One Way Ticket — George Thorogood and the Destroyers
54. Panama — Van Halen
55. Paradise City — Guns N’ Roses
56. Paranoid — Black Sabbath
57. Patience — Guns N’ Roses
58. Poor Little Fool — Ricky Nelson
59. Prisoner of the Highway — Ronnie Milsap
60. Prisoner of Rock and Roll — Neil Young
61. Refugee — Tom Petty
62. Renegade — Styx
63. Rock and a Hard Place — The Rolling Stones
64. Run to the Hills — Iron Maiden
65. Run Like Hell — Pink Floyd
66. Screaming for Vengeance — Judas Priest
67. She’s Got a Big Posse — Arabian Prince
68. Shot in the Dark — Ozzy Osbourne
69. Stay Hungry — Twisted Sister
70. Taking It To The Streets — Doobie Brothers
71. The Party’s Over — Journey
72. The Race is On — Sawyer Brown
73. The Pusher — Steppenwolf
74. The Long Arm of the Law — Warren Zevon
75. The Star Spangled Banner — Jimi Hendrix
76. The Secret of My Success — Night Ranger
77. They’re Coming to Take Me Away — Henry VIII
78. This Means War — Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
79. Time is on My Side — Rolling Stones
80. Too Old to Rock and Roll, Too Young to Die — Jethro Tull
81. Voodoo Child — Jimi Hendrix
82. Wait for You — Bonham
83. Waiting for a Friend — Jimi Hendrix
84. Wanted Dead or Alive — Bon Jovi
85. Wanted Man — Molly Hatchet
86. War Pigs — Black Sabbath
87. We Didn’t Start the Fire — Billy Joel
88. We Gotta Get Out of This Place — The Animals
89. Who Will You Run To? — Heart
90. You Send Me — Sam Cook
91. You Shook Me All Night Long — AC/DC
92. You Hurt Me (And I Hate You) — The Eurythmics
93. You Got Lucky — Tom Petty
94. Your Time is Gonna Come — Led Zeppelin
95. Youth Gone Wild — Skid Row

What would you add?

Via Darren Garnick