earsucker

On September 18th, Lindsay Lohan took to her Twitter to tell the world that she was finally doing the right thing and taking responsibility for her actions. She finally admitted that she failed a recent drug test, but was ready for any consequences.

She tweeted:

Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result. Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day. I am testing every single day and doing what I must do to prevent any mishaps in the future. This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences. I am so thankful for the support of my fans, loved ones and immediate family, who understand that i am trying hard, but also that I am a work in progress, just as anyone else. I am keeping my faith, and I am hopeful….Thank you all!!!

Now, we’re learning that she wasn’t really (air quotes here) trying to take responsibility for anything. Actually, she was getting tanked with friends when she concocted the Twitter message.

According to a snitch at Magnolia eatery, she was laughing up a storm as she tossed back some Jack Daniels mixed with Coke. (Not that kind of coke, we think.)

Us Magazine reports:

Lohan composed her missive as her assistant and a male pal coached her on how to make it “more personal,” the witness recounts. “Her friend would say, ‘No, use ‘setback,’ don’t say ‘mistake.’ They’ll say you make mistakes all the time!” The friend went on, “It’s better to say you’re responsible. Denying it will just get everyone mad per usual.” Lohan’s response: “She giggled” and had her assistant order her another Jack and Coke, the Magnolia spy tells Us.

Once the final copy was sent off to her management team — Lou Taylor and Larry Rudolph, who famously helped Britney Spears clean up — Lohan wasn’t “emotional,” says the witness.

The actress, who has been to rehab four times, even joked about drinking whiskey that night, telling pals, “What are you gonna do?” I’m ill” — making air quotes with her fingers.

She’s “ILL”. I hope she gets jail time if any of this is “true”.

Vinny Guadagnino is packin’ – Celeb Dirty Laundry

22 stars showing off their bling – Girls Talkin’ Smack

Casey Affleck went broke making I’m Still Here – Amy Grindhouse

Blake Lively, vision of….elegance? – Ayyyy!

Dita Von Teese covers Genlux magazine (Pics) – Busy Bee Blogger

Brad Womack, The Bachelor 2.0 – Celebrity Smack

Kim Kardashian says botox wasn’t necessary – Celebutante Sisters

Celebrity redo: Kim Kardashian – Fashion Grail

American Idol introduces their new judges – Dipped In Cream

Another chance to win the new Maroon 5 CD – Have U Heard?

Guess who that little boy grew up to be? – Seriously OMG

Joe & Teresa Giudice wedding photos – Starcasm

Butterface needs a hole in one – Tabloid Prodigy

How to get a smoky eye in 5 easy steps – Stylecaster

Pamela Anderson regrets posing nude – Amore Magazine

The trailer for part one of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has just been released and you can check it out here!!!

Are you excited for the movie to be released???

Check out the trailer, after the jump!!! (continue reading…)

Katy Perry recently did a guest spot on Sesame Street where she sang a cleaned up version of her song, Hot N’ Cold.

Parents have complained after seeing the sexy segment. TMZ reports:

The song made its way to YouTube Monday and racked up nearly a million views. But some parents started complaining her cleavage was too front and center. We’ve learned producers have decided not to air the song on the show.

Among the parental comments:

– “You can practically see her t*ts. That’s some wonderful children’s programming.”
– “they’re gonna have to rename it cleavage avenue”
– “my kid wants milk now”

Who let her film dressed like that anyways??!??

Mel Gibson’s movie career is shredded to pieces. After reportedly knocking out ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva’s teeth and cussing her out in voicemail messages, there really isn’t much left to do, except for sit back and hope it all blows over.

Mel is said to be trying to get a guest spot on the AMC hit series Mad Men. He was said to be in talks with creator Matthew Weiner about taking a guest starring spot on the show next season.

What do you think about Mel doing television? If he were to join the ranks of the cheating misogynists on Mad Men, where would he fit in? What do you think?

Earlier today, Beyonce stopped by the office of a fan who works in New York City. She took the time to pose with the fan, named Justin and he said she was super nice!

He tweeted, “Beyonce just walked in my office!!!!!!! I cannot believe I actually met and hugged Beyonce. She told me it was a pleasure to meet me. If that aint motivation…”

He also went on to say, “she is extremely nice and down to earth. Beautiful spirit!”

Nice!

Now that everyone and their mothers have jumped on the Lindsay Lohan Should Go To Jail bandwagon, we’re hearing that she might actually be catching a break. Go figure.

Reportedly, Lindsay is getting away scott-free on the drug test that she tested positive for, for amphetamines. Who knew?!?!

TMZ reports:

We’ve learned the second test Lindsay failed showed a positive reading for Adderall, but the L.A. County Probation Department is not recommending jail time for that violation — because there is an ambiguity in the paperwork that went from the court to the Probation Office.

The Probation Department is recommending 30 days probation for the first failed drug test which showed a positive reading for cocaine.

Now here’s where it gets interesting … Judge Elden Fox has a couple of options on Friday. He could sentence Lindsay on the spot to 30 days in jail for the cocaine violation … but because of overcrowding Lindsay would be released the same day.

Judge Fox’s other option is to deny her bail, throw her in jail and set a hearing that would take place 30 days later. Under this scenario, Lindsay would not be released early — she’d sit in jail for 30 days until her hearing. We’re told judges do this “all the time” when they want to make sure a defendant does the time.

I can’t wait. I hope she gets tossed into jail and has to sit there for an entire 30 days. It’s not likely, though. The judge may see her recent tweets about taking responsibility as a sign that she might be growing up.

I’m going to predict that he tells her to go to jail and then they turn her loose due to overcrowding. Celebrity justice fail.

This is Ashton Kutcher’s alleged mistress, Brittney Jones. She’s 21 and she’s the one that has stalked Ashton before hooking up with him on the family couch.

And this is a somewhat current photo of his wife, Demi Moore, for comparison purposes. (continue reading…)

Lindsay Lohan has some hoops that she has to jump through before she can take it all off for her role as Linda Lovelace in her upcoming movie, Inferno.

Producers behind the new flick has confirmed reports that they are adding a “sobriety clause” to her contract so that they can ensure that she behaves on set.

Contact Music reports:

Inferno producer Chris Hanley has now revealed movie bosses are determined to make sure Lohan stays out of trouble when she finally begins filming the role and they have made sure her contract now contains a specific “sobriety clause”.

Hanley tells E! News, “Formally, the terms of the acting services agreement would be such that Lindsay would not violate any obligation she would have to fulfil with the court, with her probation, or with the production insurance… Informally, as far as I am concerned that would include being 100 per cent sober, yes. The actual contractual wording would be more legal to include making sure the movie production would not be compromised in any way.”

They should put a “No nose candy” sign somewhere. Just sayin’.

It’s cheater day here at Earsucker. Should we get beer and pizza?

After Victoria Beckham claimed that husband David’s junk was as big as a remote control and that his Emporio Armani ad was all “him”, some other woman wanted to try it on for size. And she got paid!!!

Reportedly, (In Touch lies) David paid a high priced hooker a whopping $10,000 for a night of “passion”. In Touch has more:

Irma Nici, a 26-year-old former prostitute, claims to have carried on a steamy affair with soccer superstar David Beckham, In Touch reports. The brunette beauty tells the magazine that Beckham agreed to pay her $10,000 for one night of passion.

After an hour of foreplay, Nici says the two had sex for 15 minutes. Nici claims the sex was “nothing freaky,” and she rates Beckham’s lovemaking as a 7.5 out of 10.

Already calling them out for this alleged fabrication, Posh and Becks’ people have called BS on the cheating rumors. Well that was quick.

Us Magazine reports:

A rep for the two tells UsMagazine.com that the allegations — which include a threesome and unprotected sex — “are completely untrue and totally ridiculous, as the magazine was clearly told before publication.

“Sadly we live in a world where a magazine can print lies and believe they can get away with it,” adds the rep. “We are taking legal action against the magazine.”

To make it more believable, they should totally sue.

This is just one of those things that doesn’t appear to want to go away anytime soon. Apparently there are text messages involved in the whole Ashton Kutcher affair drama. At least that’s what his alleged mistress, Brittney Jones is claiming.

Brittney claims that while Demi Moore was doing her part in her new movie, LOL, she and Ashton were getting busy on their couch.

Star magazine reports:

“Ashton was really paranoid,” Brittney tells Star of their electronic exchanges. “My phone was broken at the time, so I couldn’t receive or make calls, I could only text.”

Meanwhile, Demi is tweeting photos of the two of them doing “couple things”. What do you think? Did he really cheat on her? Is a divorce on the horizon for them?