earsucker

After the National Enquirer put Michael Douglas on death watch last month, we’re happy to report that he’s look a lot healthier lately! Good news!

He was spending time with his family at Disney World on Wednesday, posing in a family shot along with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. How cute!

I’m glad to see him looking well. I hope he recovers nicely and has a longer life after this.

Joe Jonas and girlfriend Ashley Greene were almost arrested in Abu Dhabi after they tried to board their flight with knives in their carry-on bag.

On a recent trip, Joe purchased some cheese knives, but had forgotten that he’d left them in the bag he was taking on the airplane. Ashley said that they got through one security checkpoint, but the second one had security guards asking questions.

She said, “We had too many bags to check so we took one as a carry-on instead of checking it through security. We were going from the Middle East to New York, so there was tons of security, tons of screening. We got through one actually, surprisingly enough, but at the second one they all of a sudden stopped and looked at us with these really stern faces and said, ‘What is in your bag?’”

She went on, “I look at him and get flashbacks of this knife set we got. They were like cheese cutting knives. I look at Joe and said, ‘Did you leave those knives in your bag?’ He said, ‘Whoopsies!’ I said, ‘Whoopsies doesn’t cut it! We’re going to get arrested!’”

She added, “This is all his fault!”

For Thanksgiving, Lindsay Lohan has been given her freedom! But there is a catch!

The actress has to stay in Los Angeles for the entire day and can’t leave, and, she has to be back at the Betty Ford Center by the end of the day.

TMZ reports:

Sources close to the actress tell TMZ, she’s leaving her sober living facility in Palm Springs this morning to make the 2-hour drive … but she has to be back by late tonight.

We’re told a bunch of Lindsay’s friends are coming to dinner … along with Michael Lohan.

Up to this point, her mother Dina was trying to make it so she could visit the rest of the Lohan clan in NYC, but that was a no go.

Apparently, there’s a new Facebook petition being circulated, asking for the arrest of Teen Mom star, Amber Portwood.

From the description:

Just watch any of MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’ Episodes and you will see the abuse. She tries to beat him up as well as pushing him into hitting her – which he does not do.

It makes me sick watching this and she shouldn’t be allowed to see her child. It’s really pissing me off.

Amber is currently facing felony charges of domestic violence and battery, after being investigated for beating up fiancee, Gary Shirley.

Warning: The video above is NSFW due to language.

Kanye West performed songs from his new album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy last night at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City. At the end of his performance, he went on to rant about Matt Lauer, George Bush and Taylor Swift.

About Taylor, he said, “Taylor never came to my defense at any interview. And rode the waves and rode it and rode it.”

I have to agree, I think she became a household name after the 2009 VMAs. She rode the wave and played the victim.

Adam Lambert performed Jimi Hendrix’s song, Purple Haze in Amsterdam on Saturday. During his performance, he kissed a guy, grabbed his crotch and proceeded to smoke a joint on stage. Afterward, he stuck his microphone in his mouth!

Check out the video, below:

Guy kissing: 1:04, 8:00-8:14
Crotch grabbing: 1:14
Pot smoking: 1:53, 4:09
Microphone sucking: 4:39

He also performed Led Zeppelin’s song, Whole Lotta Love.

Better version (thanks lilyx!):

Now that Miley Cyrus has reached the ripe age of eighteen, the perverts of the world are anxiously awaiting those newly legal nip slips and upskirt photos.

What some of the male population of her fans are really wondering now, is whether or not Miley plans on posing nude for Playboy? Hey, let’s be real here. It’s only a matter of time before her goodies are legally plastered all over the internet as she drunkenly gets out of a limo, so she might as well profit!

Fox News talked to Hef about Miley, here’s the scoop:

Speaking of children, Disney darling turned racy pop star Miley Cyrus enters adulthood as she celebrates her 18th birthday Tuesday, and we couldn’t help but ask if any offers were on the table for her to make her “adult” status a little more official with an appearance in the men’s magazine…

“The simple answer is she is the one that you and all the other readers would like to see,” Hef said coyly. “That person changes every month and year, it depends on who the hot celebrity of the month is.”

Should she pose for the men’s magazine? Would you buy it?

Last night, on Dancing With The Stars, Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough were at the top of the leaderboard with 60 points. Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer were in second place with 56, leaving Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas bringing up the rear with 52 points.

There are two more dances scheduled for tonight, but all of the viewer votes are in. I tried voting last night, but got an error from ABC’s website, several times. Christina Aguilera performed a song from Burlesque and people were left wondering if she’s pregnant again.

Favorite Dances:

Kyle Massey & Lacey Schwimmer – The Tango – Score: 26
Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas – The Tango – Score: 25
Jennifer Grey & Derek Hough – Viennese Waltz – Score: 30

Instant Dances:

Kyle & Lacey – 28
Jennifer & Derek – 28
Bristol & Mark – 27

Stay tuned for more up-to-the-minute results!!!

The season 11 winner is: JENNIFER GREY & DEREK HOUGH!

Thank God and all that is holy that it wasn’t Bristol Palin! HA!

Christina Aguilera performed Show Me How You Burlesque on tonight’s Dancing With The Stars. I guess those pregnancy rumors aren’t going to be put to rest anytime soon.

What do you think?

We reported back in September that George Lopez and his wife Ann were planning on divorcing. Now, Ann has just filed the documents!

She filed the divorce petition in Los Angeles County Superior Court and is represented by Laura Wasser. She cites the reason for divorce as irreconcilable differences.

Perhaps she could reconcile herself with the rumors circulating that he was sexing up hookers?

TMZ has more:

Ann is asking for spousal support and primary physical custody of their 14-year-old daughter.

We’re told there is no prenup.

The couple has been married for 17 years.

Who’s next?

Tokio Hotel brothers Tom and Bill Kaulitz are fronting a new campaign for PETA. It’s urging people to take the wildlife out of the circus.

It reads: “Slaves of the entertainment industry, take the wildlife out from the circus”.

Good for them for standing up!