earsucker

The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards have kicked off with a performance by Elton John and Lady Gaga and they are both wearing dirt all over their faces. It’s a weirdness competition.

Here are the winners from tonight’s telecast:

Song of the year – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”
Best country album – Taylor Swift – “Fearless”
Best new artist – Zac Brown Band
Best comedy album – Stephen Colbert – “The Greatest Gift Of All!”
Record of the year – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”
Best rock album – Green Day – “21st Century Breakdown”
Best rap/sung collaboration – Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West – “Run This Town”
Best female vocal performance – Beyonce – “Halo”
Album of the year – Taylor Swift – “Fearless”

I’m bummed because I watched this crap for three-and-a-half hours and they only announced nine winners. I feel jipped.

Way to go on that Drake song, too, genius. You’re killing me.

Also, the pre-telecast winners:

Best dance recording – Lady Gaga
Best electronic/dance album – Lady Gaga – “The Fame”
Best female country vocal performance – Taylor Swift – “White Horse”
Best male country vocal performance – Keith Urban – “Sweet Thing”
Best country performance by a duo/group with vocals – Lady Antebellum – “I Run To You”
Best country collaboration with vocals – Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis – “I Told You So”
Best country song – Taylor Swift – “White Horse”
Best bluegrass album – Steve Martin “The Crow/New Songs For The Five-String Banjo”
Best children’s music album – Ziggy Marley – “Family Time”
Best spoken word album – Michael J. Fox – “Always Looking Up”
Best musical show album – West Side Story
Best compilation soundtrack album – Slumdog Millionaire
Best song written for motion picture, television or other visual media – Slumdog Millionare – “Jai Ho”
Best remixed recording, non-classical – David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland – “When Love Takes Over”
Best male pop vocal performance – Jason Mraz – “Make It Mine”
Best pop performance by a duo or group with vocals – Black Eyed Peas – “I Gotta Feeling”
Best pop collaboration with vocals – Jason Mraz & Colbie Callait – “Lucky”
Best pop instrumental album – Booker T. Jones – “Potato Hole”
Best pop vocal album – The Black Eyed Peas – The E.N.D.
Best traditional pop vocal album – Michael Buble – “Michael Buble Meets Madison Square Garden”
Best rock solo performance – Bruce Springsteen – “Working On A Dream”
Best rock performance by a duo/group w/vocals – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”
Best hard rock performance – AC/DC – “War Machine”
Best metal performance – Judas Priest – “Dissident Aggressor”
Best rock instrumental performance – Jeff Beck – “A Day In The Life”
Best rock song – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”
Best alternative music album – Phoenix – “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”
Best female R&B vocal performance – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”
Best male R&B vocal performance – Maxwell – “Pretty Wings”
Best R&B performance by a duo/group with vocals – Jamie Foxx & T-Pain – “Blame It”
Best traditional R&B vocal performance – Beyonce – “At Last”
Best urban/alternative performance – India.Arie & Dobet Gnahore – “Pearls”
Best R&B song – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”
Best R&B album – Maxwell – “BLACKsummer’snight”
Best contemporary R&B album – Beyonce – “I Am…Sasha Fierce”
Best rap solo performance – Jay-Z – “D.O.A.”
Best rap performance by a duo/group – Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent – “Crack A Bottle”
Best rap song – Rihanna, Jay-Z & Kanye West – “Run This Town”
Best rap album – Eminem – “Relapse”
Best short form music video – The Black Eyed Peas – “Boom Boom Pow”
Best long form music video – Various Artists – “The Beatles Love – All Together Now”

And there you have the complete winners list! Who did you expect to win that didn’t? Which was your favorite performance of the evening?