earsucker

In case you hadn’t heard, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a book coming out titled, Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore. The book is set for release on November 2nd, and we’ve got the inside scoop on what kind of advice he’s dishing out!

According to Mike, you can find happiness on the Jersey shore if you dodge “grenades”, avoid sickness and also includes a one-night stand checklist.

The book features illustrations on proper ab maintenance and the one-night stand checklist features tips such as, “The best sex is often with a grenade — because she’s so grateful”. He offers up some shaving wisdom, saying, “Chicks do dig guys with shaved legs…maybe they’re into the Michael Phelps look.”

To avoid any unwanted colds or sickness, he says, “Before any chick gets into my bed I make her slide into a 200-degree Jacuzzi to sterilize any microbial bacteria that might endanger my health.”

And there’s even a prayer for guys like Mike. It reads, “God grant me the stamina to satisfy hot chicks, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

After writing this, I am utterly convinced that Mike had a ghost writer. I’ve seen his little bit part on Dancing With The Stars and he doesn’t come off as the sharpest tool in the shed. Microbial? He did not write this. Ha.

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