earsucker

Lindsay Lohan is due in court today over a failed alcohol test. During her rooftop barbecue on the 13th, she may have consumed alcoholic beverages, which apparently has violated the terms of her probation.

Lindsay has been ordered to appear in front of Judge Stephanie Sautner at 10AM PST and the Probation Department is already asking for the judge to toss her in jail.

Her father Michael is still sounding like a broken record, saying that she needs rehab. Didn’t they try that already, Mike? Seriously. No amount of rehab is going to sink into this self-entitled twit’s head that she has rules that she actually has to follow.

He said, “I’m so worried about my daughter. I’m very, very concerned about the people around Lindsay and the pressure being put upon her. If it turns out that the test was positive, then I have strong concerns because if a person can’t stay straight in the house where can she stay straight?”

ANSWER: JAIL!

Michael went on to reveal that he visited Lindsay on Father’s Day last weekend and that she seemed just fine. He said, “When I saw her over the weekend to me she didn’t seem like she had any alcohol in her system. I’m still opposed to jail. She needs to go into rehab. She needs to be in a program called G&G Holistic in Florida. They will not only give her rehabilitation, but they are a detoxification center and they don’t believe in prescription drugs. I don’t think Lindsay needs to be on any prescription drugs, and i think that’s part of the problem.”

Ugh….rehab obviously didn’t work. Do you think Lindsay will be going to jail today?

True Blood’s Anna Paquin and Alexander Skarsgard revamp (ha!) the latest cover of Entertainment Weekly in their version of the famous American Gothic painting.

And if that’s not enough for you Truebies, we’ve also got the second and third versions of the covers, featuring Anna with Stephen Moyer and her with Joe Manganiello.

Alexander spoke of his female fanbase, saying, “I’ll never get used to that. It’s just very, very humbling and flattering. The character Eric means so much to me and I’m having so much fun playing him. Of course it means a lot when you meet fans and you can actually tell there are people out there who really do care about the character. It means something to you, then. That’s kind of why you do this whole thing.”

If you’ve been fans of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, then you know that the upcoming season is filled with nothing but Sookie and Eric goodness. Of course, Alan Ball has loosely based the hit show on the books, with season four dedicated to Dead To The World. In that book, Eric is cursed by witches and has amnesia. He takes shelter in Sookie’s house and completely devoid of power and politics, they fall in love. (And, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the shower scene!)

Alexander isn’t giving up any of the details on the upcoming season, but he did tell us one thing. He said, “I did some crazy stuff last year. I almost had sex with a Greek man and I was covered in his goo. Everything from here on is pretty childish. Everything’s quite innocent.”

The Greek man he’s referring to, of course, is Talbot, of whom he murdered as a retaliation to Russell’s murder of his human parents a thousand years ago.

The fourth season starts on Sunday, June 26th on HBO. WAITING SUCKS! But to tide you over, sink your teeth into the smaller images below and click twice for the larger sizes.

Which cover is your favorite??? Let us know in the comments!

Paris Hilton has revealed that she actually tricks her new friends in order to test how trustworthy they are.

She does have oodles upon oodles of money, so I can imagine that she probably feels that people are only friends with her for the chance at fame or the opportunity to use her for her money. So I guess this would be a defense mechanism of sorts. But don’t get me wrong here, I wouldn’t go through any lengths to defend Paris.

Paris makes sure that her new friends and potential boyfriends know how to keep a secret by telling them a fake piece of news and seeing if it leaks out into the media. She has become very guarded and wants to be careful in choosing her new friends, because she’s been betrayed on many occasions by people who can’t seem to keep their mouths shut.

In a new interview with George Lopez, she said, “I’ll basically tell them a fake rumor and then see if it’s printed in the tabloids the next week.”

So is this her way of explaining away some of the rumors surrounding her? I’m sure they all can’t be fake, right? Besides that, who really goes out of their way to test their friends and future boyfriends?

Selena Gomez is getting jealous and it’s not what you think!

According to reports, the Disney starlet has become envious of boyfriend Justin Bieber and his relationship with his female fans. An insider said, “Selena has become more and more insecure because of the way Justin is with his fans. Justin is a real flirt and loves the attention. While he tells Selena there’s nothing in it, she can’t help but feel upset about it and she told him so.”

Selena has recently commented that it was never her intention to become a role model. She said, “I’m human, I’m not perfect. I make mistakes all the time, but I guess my job is to keep those mistakes to myself, which I’m already fine doing and just try to be the best I can be for those kids.”

Do you really think Selena is jealous of the attention that Justin gives his fans? I think she’s more secure than that and she already has her own wide fan base. What do you think?

Several witnesses have already testified that accused murderer Casey Anthony’s trunk smelled of a decomposing body, but according to an expert, the evidence is inconclusive.

Dr. Michael Sigman, a chemistry professor at the University of Central Florida, testified Wednesday that the trunk of Casey’s Pontiac Sunfire showed tracess of gasoline, chloroform and other chemicals. Those chemicals are associated with human decomposition, but they are also linked to onions, cabbages and Chlorox. The doctor testified that the compounds “gave very low responses”.

He told the defense attorney, “I cannot conclusively determine that there had been human remains in the trunk of the car.”

People magazine has more:

Prosecutors in the murder trial in Orlando had called several experts who concluded that based on the air samples, a strand of hair, insect activity and the reaction of cadaver dogs that a body was in fact in the Florida mom’s car.

Casey, 25, who faces the death penalty if convicted in her 2-year-old daughter Caylee’s death, busily passed notes to her lawyers throughout the morning’s testimony.

Among several other witnesses who took the stand was Madeline Montgomery, a forensic toxicologist for the FBI.

She testified that she found no evidence of drugs – including calming medications Xanax and Valium – in hair presumed to be Caylee’s. But she also acknowledged she could not test the hair for chloroform.

Stay tuned as more details are unraveled about the case. We are curious to know if Casey will take the stand in her own defense. What do you think?

According to In Touch Weekly, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have tied the knot – in secret!

They announce that the long-time partners and parents to six children have gotten married in France. Reportedly, Angelina wore an L’Wren Scott gown, along with a vintage wedding ring.

They also tout “Brad’s emotional vow to his new wife” and their “surprising celeb guest”. I wonder if he vowed never to cheat on her. And who could be their surprise guest? It depends. If they really wanted to shock the world, they could always invite Jennifer Aniston and her new squeeze, Justin Theroux. Now that would be shocking.

These are two people who have said that they wouldn’t get married until everyone, regardless of sexual preference, could marry. So we have a tendency to disbelieve. That is, unless their rumored marriage graces the cover of People magazine with photos of him in a tux and her in her wedding dress.

Are you believing the rumors? He has previously talked about the kids asking them if they were going to get married, so anything is possible. But somehow, we doubt there’s any truth to this just yet. Thoughts?

Lindsay Lohan has violated the terms of her probation and will be marching her butt into court tomorrow!

According to reports, Lindsay has consumed alcohol during her court ordered house arrest. Dun dun dun. Can’t tell me that it was really that unexpected, can you?

She was said to have tested positive for alcohol on June 12th or June 13th, which, coincidentally, happens to be the same time that she held her rooftop party. Perhaps she’s going to try and say that someone spilled booze on her ankle bracelet again?

She has been ordered to appear in court tomorrow morning for a probation violation hearing. A source close to the situation said, “Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox, said she couldn’t consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow.”

The source added, “They don’t want to continue to monitor since they have been notified that Lindsay violated terms of her probation. The drinking occurred while Lindsay was under house arrest.”

I wonder if Lindsay is going to have to do hard time now? Will she get anothe mugshot? I guess it’ll be hard to shill for Beezid.com from a jail cell, huh?

Weird Al is throwing his hat in the political arena with his latest hit-sucker recognizable song with new lyrics and a nerd voice musical parody Party in the CIA. Fans of pop singer Miley Cyrus will instantly recognize it as a spoof of Party in the USA. Even though lyrics are intentionally typed out in lowercase to go with the bubblegum pop feel, the subject matter is anything but cute:

i moved out to langely recently
with a plain and simple dream;
wanna infiltrate some third-world place
and topple their regime.

their men in black with their matching suitcases;
where everything’s on a need-to-know basis;
agents got that swagger;
everyone so cloak and dagger.

i’m feelin’ nervous but i’m really kinda wishing
for another undercover mission

that’s when the red alert came on the radio
and i put my earpiece on!
got my dark sunglasses on!
and i had my weapon drawn!

so i get my handcuffs,
my cyanide pills,
my classified dossier!

tappin’ the phones like yeah, shreddin’ the files like yeah,
and then i rised all the enemy spies i’ve got to neutralize today.
Weird Al Yankovic Party In The CIA
yeeeaaahhh, it’s a party in the cia!
yeeeaaahhh, it’s a party in the cia! (continue reading…)

Season four of True Blood is gearing up to premiere on Sunday, June 26th. If you’ve read the books, then you already know that Alan Ball is only using them as a basis for the storylines. But, we’re still hoping for the Sookie and Eric storyline from book four to come alive.

If you haven’t read the books, then these might be spoilers for the upcoming season….so it’s after the jump for the goodies. (continue reading…)

Holy mother of God, will any of these Kardashian chicks learn from their pasts? Kim Kardashian got famous for releasing her sex tape with Ray-J. Now, we’re hearing rumors that a sex tape exists featuring Kourtney Kardashian and some unknown guy.

There’s a lesson here. You only need one sex tape to get “leaked” per family to catapult all of you into superstardom and reality TV heaven.

Go after the jump for the NSFW details of Kourtney’s sexcapades! (continue reading…)

It was only a matter of time before George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis called time on their relationship. They’d been dating for two years, but now, it’s all over. George is back on the market, ladies!

We probably could’ve called this one from a mile away. Considering earlier this month, she said that she could see her future as a married woman. As a matter of fact, we did call it…on the 9th of this month.

She then said, “Whenever I see my picture in a magazine I know what is being written. They all say that I spend my time organizing parties and that my boyfriend does not want to marry me and be with me anymore. I am a firm believer in marriage, in the future I will be married, but for the time being I am happy as I am.”

We said then, “We’re shaking up our magic eight ball now. It’s telling us that she sure will get married in the future, just not to him.”

People magazine reports their joint statement, issued earlier today:

“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy,” Clooney and Canalis said in a joint statement Wednesday.

So sad, but we’re sure he’ll be on to his next lady in no time. Any takers?