earsucker

Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, hasn’t been married to Prince William long, but according to reports, she is already bored with the royal lifestyle. Say it isn’t so!

She was the star of the show when she married the future King, but now, she’s already twiddling her thumbs as the Duke does his military duty. Pals of the Duchess worry that she will go crazy from the boredom…

A source said, “Kate’s crying herself to sleep at night. She feels as if she’s lost her royal privileges, and she’s been left to fend for herself in the sticks. She feels desperately lonely and abandoned much of the time.”

Related: Anne Hathaway wants to play Kate Middleton

We’re sure that’s not the case. She knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this lifestyle. We know that the Duke is surely rather busy with his military work, but we’re doubting that she’s going to die of boredom any time soon.

The source went on to say, “It’s all a far cry from the pomp and majesty of her wedding and the days when she became a London style icon, soaking up the nightlife with William. Kate is now reduced to waiting at home for her man to return from duty, and then cooking his dinner after pushing a cart round the local supermarket.”

More: In Touch Weekly: Kate Middleton Can’t Get Pregnant

Because being a housewife and all of that is such hard work! Trust me, there are millions of women out there that do grocery shopping and cooking and much more. So we’re not buying this one bit. Are you?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

According to reports, Rihanna is planning on adopting a baby from Haiti!

Sources say that the singer is gearing up to take an orphaned baby from the area. The snitch said, “She’s dead-set on becoming a mom to a child from Haiti, and she’s just had lawyers make contacts.”

We’re finding this one a little hard to believe. Rihanna is financially secure enough to do whatever she wants with her life, but she still is only 23-years-old and has an insanely successful career.

The source went on to reveal, “Rihanna doesn’t see herself having a biological child anytime soon because she doesn’t have a man in her life – plus, after all the drama with Chris Brown, she’s suspicious of guys.”

The source added, “But mainly, she says, she needs to make her life less about her and more about someone else. She’s getting enthusiastic support from mentor Jay-Z and wife Beyonce and asked them to be godparents! This is about Rihanna getting out from under herself and making a difference in the world – starting with one child!”

Do you believe the rumors? If she is, in fact, set on becoming a mother, then more power to her. We’re sure she’ll make a good one. What do you think?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

On Monday, the cast of the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars was announced. Today, we’ve got the pairings for the show! So, who’s going to be dancing with who?!? Read on!

Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer
David Arquette and Kym Johnson
Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy
Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas
Nancy Grace and Tristan McManus
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff
Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani
Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Ron Artest and Peta Murgatroyd

Some predictions:

Nancy Grace will be exiting the dance floor quickly. Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy will do well, as well as Ricki Lake and Derek Hough. Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani will be the ones to watch out for and as far as the winner is concerned, we’re pulling for Ricki, of course. The winner of most annoying “celeb” this season will go to Nancy and her inability to keep her trap shut. Perhaps she’ll be able to get through the show without mentioning Casey Anthony? Time will tell. And Kudos to ABC for bringing Chaz Bono in!

What do you think of the cast? What about the pairings? We’re just glad to see Maksim return, after all, we weren’t sure that he would.

Who are you rooting for? Tell us!

Jennifer Aniston and a puffy-faced chimpmunk Kim Kardashian are featured front and center on the cover of the latest issue of OK! magazine, along with their significant others.

From the description:

Jennifer Aniston and Kim Kardashian: New homes for new babies! Both Jen and Kim are headed from L.A. to New York City. After marrying the NBA’s Kris Humphries, Kim will be moving into a Park Avenue suite, while Jen is settling into a penthouse with her beau Justin Theroux downtown. Friends say each star is thinking about motherhood soon, but who will have the better NYC nursery? OK! has photos of each luxurious apartment, plus the nearby restaurants, shops and nightlife!

And earlier, Jen was just telling Glamour magazine not to believe all of the hype in the tabloids. Ha.

Also in this issue, Ryan Reynolds has been “caught” at Sandra Bullock’s house — because friends have to sneak over, right? If not, then they’re totally doing it, according to the tabloids. It was broad day light, people, I don’t really refer to that as being caught.

All of the above is likely to be nothing but BS. So instead of wasting your time, read a book and actually learn something. This has been your Earsucker PSA for the week. Enjoy.

Yesterday, we told you how Kim Kardashian a mystery buyer sent off a letter to Vivid Entertainment, looking to purchase the rights to Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.

Perhaps Kim really hasn’t famewhored herself out enough to buy the tape. She made millions from her wedding and all of the fanfare, but the head honcho of Vivid, Steven Hirsch, said that he wants upwards of thirty million to remove the tape from the market! THIRTY MILLION. Let that one marinate for a few minutes.

TMZ has the scoop:

Hirsch tells us … “Based on its long term value, it looks like $30 million would be a starting point for a discussion on all of the rights.”

Hirsch adds, “I have no idea who is behind this offer … but If it’s Kim, I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. She has my number and can call me any time.”

Is Kim’s sex tape really worth that much?!? What do you think? I’d be willing to bet that it was worth less prior to her wedding. The night she got married, everyone and their uncle was using that as spank material…Ha.

Thirty million. Imagine what you could do with that kind of money. Then pee on it.

On a side note, I’m starting to think that Kris Humphries is the mystery buyer. Now that he and Kim are married and have babies on the brain, it only stands to reason that he doesn’t want his baby’s mother’s goody parts all over the internet. But, you really can’t erase anything from the internet forever, can you?

Kim Kardashian married Kris Humphries earlier this month, and now the reality television actress reveals that she can’t wait to take the next step — and have some babies!

Can you imagine what their children would look like? Imagine Lurch-sized children with insanely huge butts and you’d be somewhat close.

Perhaps she wants to do for her children what her mother did to for her? You know, sell them out for every possible dollar until people are so sick of hearing their names that they want to die?!? Just kidding, she doesn’t have to have kids for us to feel that way.

Kim’s close friend, Lisa Gastineau, said, “She wants babies. Let’s cross the fingers. And her mom wants her to have babies quick. She will be a great mom. She is very nurturting.”

Lisa went on to reveal that Kris will be a great dad and they are the perfect match for each other. Oh slobber. She added, “He adores Kim. I wish that every girl that I know had someone that adores her. Just the way he looks at her. He’s so cool. He stands up to her. Kim is a little dynamo. It is amazing, it is a fun, fun relationship watching them.”

I still call BS on their wedding. Let’s see the marriage certificate! What do you think of Kim and Kris having babies? Too soon? Have we uncovered her plot to take over the world with Kardashian-Humphries babies? Let us know what you think in the comments.

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

After attacking a woman who’s party bus he wanted to board, former Lost actor, Matthew Fox, has been charged with assault!

The bus driver, Heather Bormann, showed Cleveland, Ohio prosecutors photos of the bruises she sustained as a result of her altercation with Matthew. She filed assault charges Tuesday, after he “started swinging” on her. He was denied entrance aboard the bus she was driving, but was allegedly too drunk to care.

The Hollywood Reporter has more:

“He smelled like a liquor cabinet, like a bar,” Bormann told Cleveland.com of the actor, who attempted to board the bus at about 1:30 am Sunday morning. “I told him, ‘Sorry, buddy, this is a private party. You get off my vehicle.’ I told him three times.”

But, then she says Fox began “swinging on her,” and she then retaliated by punching the actor in the mouth. Bormann says she went to the hospital to have her left hand which is bruised and swollen, bandaged.

Bormann says she didn’t recognize the LOST star until after he was taken into custody.

I bet that didn’t do anything for his grand ego…Ha. Good for her for filing charges against this woman beating twit. What a loser!

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

The cast list for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars has been revealed and we can safely admit that we weren’t impressed in the slightest. ABC said that they were going after big named celebrities, yet the most known celeb on the list is David Arquette.

Rumors were swirling across the internet that Queen Latifah was set to sign up for the dancing competition, which was something she denied. Now, HollywoodLife reports the reason why. According to them, she felt that she was “too big of a star” to compete for the mirror ball trophy!

Usually, D-list celebrities appear on the show to boost their acting careers and status in the media. Queen Latifah was already a bigger star than any they’ve had appear on the show, so perhaps it’s really beneath her to do it.

An insider said, “She thought it would be a career downturn. She didn’t believe she needs it, even though she is a fan of the show.”

I agree, she doesn’t need the show at all….but I can’t deny that it would’ve made it fun to watch. Queen Latifah is a funny lady. At least with her, it would’ve been entertaining…Don’t you think?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Teen singer Justin Bieber was involved in a minor car accident on Tuesday in Los Angeles.

It was a minor accident and no one was hurt, as a result. Justin was driving a Ferrari and got bumped by a Honda. TMZ has more:

Sources on the scene tell TMZ … the Honda “tapped” Biebs so gently he didn’t exchange info with the other driver.

But we’re told one of Justin’s peeps decided … better safe than sorry … and called police — who showed up and said there wasn’t enough damage to even take a report.

The good news is no one was injured. Even better news … we’re told Bieber doesn’t own the Ferrari.

Aren’t you glad that this seventeen-year-old entertainment monkey wasn’t injured in his super expensive car that you nor I will ever be able to afford? Heaven forbid the car gets a scratch…then he’d have to go back to driving the Range Rover that Usher bought him for his sixteenth birthday. Oh the humanity!

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Possibly in an effort to take the focus off of her craptastic new video for her stupid song, Jam (Turn It Up), Kim Kardashian has released the new promo ad for her latest fragrance, Gold.

Does anyone want to smell like Kim? I can’t even begin to imagine what she smells like…Can you?

This is a girl who funded the possibility of purchasing the rights to her infamous sex tape by selling out her wedding and everything attached to it — all in the name of the almighty dollar. (Allegedly). According to TMZ, it’s a “mystery buyer”. Uh huh. We see right through you, Kim.

Besides that, why would anyone want to take that tape off of the market four years after she got peed on and made famous? Why now? Why not before her wedding? It’s probably because she hadn’t yet made enough money famewhoring herself out to the masses (ie: E!).

It’s just further proof that Ryan Seacrest and that bunch hates us all. You heard it here first.

What do you think of the ad for her perfume? Lots of boobage, right? We wouldn’t complain if we didn’t have to look at her face. Speaking of her face, doesn’t it look oddly plastic? It’s almost as if she told them to use her Madame Tussaud’s wax figure…Am I right?

Jennifer Aniston, Alicia Keys and Demi Moore appear on the October 2011 issue of Glamour magazine. Inside, Jennifer dishes on the crazy things that the tabloids say about her.

The tabloids have claimed that Jennifer is a homewrecker, is pregnant and/or adopting at any given time. When asked about her thoughts on the subject, she said, “There’s not nearly as much stealing and obsessing and middle-of-the-night secret calls to ex-boyfriends and scheming and cheating [as they lead you to believe]. Most of it’s just bulls**t, however entertaining.”

If the tabloids were right, she’d have at least five babies, naturally, by now. In addition to that, she’d also be scheming to break up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, as well as adopting Mexican babies.

We’re glad that she sees the entertainment value in such publications, but we’re even more delighted that she shed some light on the truth. Some tabloids take their creative license way too far in making stuff up about celebrities. If you believe everything you read, then she’s already counting down to having a baby, pregnant with twins, hooked on Mr. Wrong and getting married….and that’s all in the span of one month’s time…