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The judge in Casey Anthony’s case has ruled that she will not get off scott-free for her check fraud conviction from 2010. He has ordered her to return to Florida to serve out her probation, but her location will remain a secret.

Because of all of the death threats that Casey faces, officials have decided to keep her location information confidential. She has already checked in with her probation officer and has begun serving her one year probation term.

DOC spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger, said, “The court made a pretty strong statement that she was one of the most hated women in America.”

Per the conditions of her probation, she has to report to her probation officer within the first five days of every month, have no contact with her check fraud victim, not use intoxicants in excess, visit places where alcohol or drugs are illegally used or sold and pay the state $20 a month toward the cost of supervision.

Her attorney, Jose Baez, said that Casey plans to serve her probation “somewhere in Florida”, but she will not be required to get a job. Instead, she will take online classes.

Star magazine wants to make us think that Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are going to get married one day. Since going on their hiking trip, rumors have started, suggesting that they are more than friends. Ryan even carried Louis on his back, so that HAS to mean that they’re doing it, right?!?

All the while, during their hiking trip, they supposedly talked about how they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Blah blah blah.

The inside snitch claimed that Ryan was so happy hanging out with Sandra that he said they should “just go ahead and tie the knot.” The source added, “Ryan is always saying silly things, making Sandra laugh, so she went along with it. But as the day went on, they started thinking about it, and soon the thought of spending their lives together didn’t sound all that ridiculous.”

As much of a cute couple that we think they are and no matter how much we want them to get together, they are only friends. Ryan’s rep said, “It is such crap”, in reference to the Star article, adding, “They’ve always been close friends!”

Because apparently there are so many people on this planet who are preoccupied with the contents of Jennifer Aniston’s uterus, Us Magazine is featuring her on their cover. And no, it’s not twins this time. It’s the BABY COUNTDOWN!

According to the cover, Jennifer has decided to quit smoking and drinking, which is the first sign that she’s incubating a fetus. The second sign? She’s decorating her new home with her boyfriend, Justin Theroux. Clearly, she’s thinking of babies there. I mean, who redecorates their home without the thoughts of babies clamoring in their heads? No one I know. And the most obviously truthiness about the whole thing, she’s gaining weight and having morning sickness, which would seem like an oxymoron.

To discount all of the above, I’ll need to take a few minutes to enjoy my frosty beverage while pondering how Us Magazine manages to pay people to come up with this BS.

Point 1: She quit smoking and drinking. Logical explanation: She wants to be healthy.
Point 2: She’s redecorating her home. Logical explanation: She’s human and likes new things.
Point 3: She’s having morning sickness and gaining weight. Logical explanation: Weight gain caused by getting comfy with her new man. (Married men, I know you hear me on this.) Morning sickness: Would affect said weight gain, and by reason of nature, must be a lie.

Poor Jennifer Aniston, she really can’t just live her life and be happy without the tabloids writing all kinds of crazy crap about her. This week, Life & Style has decided to make Jennifer pregnant with twins! She must be so elated!

Her relationship with her boyfriend, Justin Theroux, has been taken to the next level after they moved in together. So instead of giving them adequate time to adjust to living together in their new situation, they’re going to be proud parents! Oh the joy.

Also featured in this issue, are the wedding photos that Kim Kardashian has pimped out to every print publication from here to Egypt. Seriously, if I see that headpiece one more time, I’m going off someone…perferably with the last name Kardashian.

Taylor Armstrong also gets a tiny sidebar item about her husband’s suicide. Because that’s totally not as important as Jennifer giving birth to fake babies, right?

Also in this issue, is some kind of Bachelorette baby exclusive. Life & Style giveth babies aplenty, folks. Did you get yours in the mail?

Yesterday, the news broke that Will and Jada Smith were having trouble in their marriage and were separated. Thanks to an insider for In Touch Weekly, the magazine printed the story and everyone ran with it. Later on yesterday, Jada issued a denial of the rumors and said that their marriage is “intact”.

In addition to that, Jada’s rep also issued a denial, specifically naming Marc Anthony. The statement said, “All the rumors regarding Marc Anthony and Jada are false. Completely untrue. As for Will and Jada, I’m not commenting on their personal life.”

Marc’s rep even chimed in, saying, “We unequivocally deny this. Enough is enough. There are families involved, children involved, friendships involved. This is NOT true.”

So, for In Touch to still run with that story on their cover, just seems stupid. They denied it yesterday, people. Someone at that rag is getting fired!

What do you think? Shouldn’t tabloids be more responsible with the news they put out there?

Kris Jenner must be delusional that she actually thought she could get someone at Kim Kardashian’s wedding with some grain of talent. I bet Christina Aguilera was rolling in the laughter after being asked to perform at the wedding reception for free.

An insider close to Kris revealed that she wanted a big name performer like Christina or Jennifer Lopez to perform, but there was a hitch – money!

Both ladies charge around $1 million for private shows, so Kris opted not to go with either of them. She said that she refused to compensate them that much for their time. But don’t the Kardashian’s have a lot of money? They stood to gain millions from all of the video footage, photos and quotes that are being released from the wedding. It would seem like a small drop in a very large bucket to get the talent you want for the reception.

Instead of Christina or J-Lo, wedding guests were treated to Earth, Wind and Fire. Too funny. I guess you get what you pay for. It’s not like talented singers want to attach their names to the Kardashians just to be kind. If you asked Kim to show up somewhere and promote something for free, she’d laugh at you. So why should Christina and Jennifer be any different?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Miley Cyrus has gone from the sweet “girl next door” Hannah Montana type to a raunchy sex kitten in her years trying to break out of her Disney shell. Apparently her fans aren’t liking the transition so much. In fact, since she’s sexed up her image, she has lost out on some revenue!

A source said, “Miley Cyrus should aspire to be on that level and the first step is hard work. Unfortunately, it seems she isn’t far from the path many young adults follow: exploring adulthood; testing the boundaries around them; and flirting with danger through reckless behavior.”

Sounds spot on so far, what other pearls of wisdom can this source bestow upon us?

The source went on to say, “I believe for the young fans who have grown up with her, while she is trying to assert her independence she is alienating this one-time target audience. With Hannah Montana still airing on ABC Saturday mornings, her fans are confused by what they see on the program with what they see on an entertainment website, a magazine they see and/or hear their parents discuss. Many of her fans are too young to understand the difference between the actress as a real person and the role she plays on the show.”

So the moral of the story is: Don’t let your ten-year-olds read Perez Hilton. That’s what I got from it. You?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Kate Middleton really has been in the media spotlight ever since she became associated with Prince William’s name. Now, it appears that the Duchess of Cambridge has become a role model for pro-anorexic websites.

Since getting married, Kate was said to have slimmed down to a size zero waist. I can imagine that has a lot to do with the stress and planning of such a grand wedding, but some websites are looking for Kate’s slim down secret.

A pal of Kate’s said, “Kate is very slender but she certainly doesn’t have an eating disorder. She’ll be horrified that she is on these sites. Yes, she has lost weight but that’s largely down to the stress she has been under and all the travelling she has done recently.”

The Herald Sun reports:

One post asks: “Is anyone else sort of getting hacked off by how much weight Kate Middleton is losing?

“I mean I’m happy for her and all, getting married . . . but I am very jealous. I swear she used to be really quite chubby during her uni days.”

The sites also chart Kate’s weight loss with photographs from her university days to more recent pictures of her on tour when she is noticeably slimmer.

What do you think of Kate being featured on pro-anorexia websites? Sickening, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

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Kim Kardashian’s wedding photos are front and center on the latest cover of People magazine. Because this entire shindig wasn’t famewhored out enough, she sold her engagement photos to the magazine for a whopping $300,000. She was also said to have made $1.5 million from the sale of the wedding photos in this issue!

And here we thought that weddings were supposed to cost money, not make any!

So, in case you haven’t been aware this past week, it’s been total Kardashian mania. If you haven’t seen 800,000 Kim Kardashian headlines, then she hasn’t done her best at selling the family name. That name, as we’ve always pointed out, was only made famous because some dude peed on her in a sex tape. A tape that was “leaked” (she signed off on it) and catapulted her to superstardom.

But, seriously folks, can we really please stop calling this idiot and her husband “America’s Royal Couple”? She’s nowhere near royalty, for those of us who’ve visited KimKSuperstar.com and we know how she got where she is today. To call that royalty is just a disgrace of the word.

Thanks.

/Rant over.

January Jones plays mean mom Betty Draper on the hit AMC series Mad Men and in real life, she’s ready to have her own child. But don’t expect her young co-star, Jared Gilmore, to have anything nice to say about her. He plays Bobby Draper, her son, on the show, and apparently she has left a bad taste in his mouth.

The 11-year-old had some sound advice for his replacement in the series: Watch out! TV Guide reports:

A new actor will assume the role of Don and Betty’s son, Bobby, since Jared Gilmore opted to take a series-regular role on ABC’s new Once Upon a Time instead of the seven episodes Mad Men offered. Jared’s advice for his replacement: “Be careful around January [Jones]. She’s not as approachable as the others. She’s really serious about what she does. Everyone else is so nice.”

Why does January Jones hate children? Just kidding, she only hates YOUR children. Ha.

Reality star Kim Kardashian has denied rumors of having a second wedding in New York!

The sex tape star married Kris Humphries in a lavish ceremony attended by 400 people on Saturday, August 20th. Rumors were circulating that she was planning another wedding ceremony in New York, at the end of the month.

Kim took to her official Twitter account to discuss the rumors. She tweeted, “There are rumors of a 2nd wedding in NY. This is NOT true!! Our friends Jason Binn & Colin Cowie are throwing us a welcome to NY party!”

She’s already spent a ton of money on the first ceremony, so why do it all over again? Besides that, we’re in a recession, it’s time to show the world that you’re not just some thankless douchebucket who has oodles of money to waste on things you don’t need.

Who’s with me?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures