earsucker

When the latest cover of Us Weekly emerged online yesterday, we were scratching our heads wondering what Katy Perry and Russell Brand were hiding in their marriage of 14 months. What would he have to reveal if he wanted to really go through with a tell all book?

The caption underneath his photo read “She’ll never forgive him”. When printing words like that, Us Weekly makes us think that Rusty tried to show Katy’s mother his rocket….

Alas, we’ve consulted the source and have come up with some juicy tidbits of information. The answer is just as simple as our attic troll brother Pat who lives in our mother’s attic and only comes out to eat and walk his dog. It’s the tell all book idea that’s got her panties in a bunch!

Not only are they claiming that Russell blindsided her with the divorce filing, but he’s writing his memoirs with juicy gossip about their marriage.

A snitch revealed, “Katy is insulted and feels betrayed that Russell has treated her so poorly. She will never forgive him. Ever.”

The spy went on to say, “He’s being so atrocious that she feels like she never knew him.”

Is this the work of the Katy Perry machine Kardashian’ing her way to further fame by looking like the victim? And yes, I just used “Kardashian” as a verb. You’re welcome.

What does she have to worry about anyways? It’s not like she was feasting nightly on cupcakes decorating his body parts. Unless she was….but no one wants to hear about that. Right?

Photo Credit: Revolution Pix, PacificCoastNews.com