Holly Madison Wanted To Kill Herself At The Playboy Mansion

Holly Madison Wanted To Kill Herself At The Playboy Mansion

Former Girls Next Door star Holly Madison covers the latest edition of Us Weekly magazine and in this issue, she blows the lid off of what it was like living at the notorious Playboy Mansion.

Madison was one of Hugh Hefner’s three main girlfriends and has revealed in her new book Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, she talks about contemplating suicide as a result of her experiences at the famed mansion.

In her tell all book, she revealed that in 2002, she thought about killing herself. She said, “If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over.”

She went on to say, “Everyone thinks that the infamous metal gate was meant to keep people out. But I grew to feel it was meant to lock me in.”

She also talked about how the Playboy mogul pitted each of his girlfriends against one another and spoke of how insecure she was going into the mansion. She underwent a nose job and said that even the most beautiful girls in the magazine felt insecure about their bodies.

With regard to her bathtub thoughts of suicide, she said, “Would anyone even miss me?”

She added, “Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading.”

Holly Madison has since left the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner and has gone on to marry Pasquale Rotella and have their child, Rainbow Aurora. We have also since learned that there was absolutely no love lost between Madison and Kendra Wilkinson. She said that they haven’t spoken in six years. Former Girls Next Door star Bridget Marquardt also confirmed the reports that she is also not on friendly terms with Wilkinson.

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