If you saw that sideboob picture from Lindsay Lohan’s Ibiza vacation and thought “PUT IT AWAY, LINDSAY!” then congratulations you are not alone. She’s got the sag of a 50-something-year-old woman, doesn’t she?
So, in order to combat reports that she doesn’t look her best, she took the above photo and slapped that sucker on Instagram. See, she looks great, right? Question: Is that even Lindsay? Is there proof that it’s actually her behind that iPhone camera? You can’t really see her face at all, so there leaves some room for doubt.
In other crackmonster related news, Lindsay is probably broke and done sponging off of rich guys for favors, so she wants to write her autobiography. And by “write” it, we mean hire someone to translate her cracktastic musings and 140 character blurbs into real sentences.
She plans on including details on that list of 36 guys of whom she claimed to hookup that leaked earlier this year. A source revealed, “Lindsay held meetings at major publishing houses in London recently – and the stories she promised the literary agents made their jaws drop. She’s prepared to put everything out there and has already proved she’s not shy with the list of men she claims to have slept with.”
The spy added, “Lindsay is now looking for a ghost writer. It may seem unlikely, but she thinks shes’s in with a shot of getting E.L. James to work on it – they met recently at Chiltern Firehouse and got on well. Another pie in the sky idea was that she might persuade J.K. Rowling to work with her.”
That has got to be the joke of the day for either writer. First, if she got E.L. James, we would probably read about Lindsay’s “inner goddess” dying of a crack overdose and J.K. Rowling wouldn’t even think of going near this hot mess. And who could blame her?