In case you weren’t aware of how we feel about Snooki being given the opportunity to write a book, let’s catch up. She authored a book titled, A Shore Thing, which is presumably fiction. Some of the excerpts from the book have been leaked, and let’s just say this: They’re scary.
NY Post has the goodies:
* “He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
* “Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
* “Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
* “Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
* “Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
* “I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.”
Ugh, she has admitted to having read only two books in her life and now is an author. What’s even scarier is that this broad will probably make the NY Times best seller’s list. The Snooki phenomenon must be stopped — or else the entire planet will turn into Idiocracy.