earsucker

When Charlie Sheen was fired from Two And A Half Men, we were curious as to how the show’s producers would integrate that into the show itself. We’ve heard reports that Charlie Harper was going to bite the big one in the new season, but there were never any real details — until now.

Now, we’ve learned that the season premiere episode, featuring Ashton Kutcher, will open with Charlie Harper’s funeral. Deadline reports that the funeral is going to take place at the beginning of the September 19th show.

The funeral service for Charlie will show his many girlfriends mourning their loss. As for Charlie’s beach house that he was sharing with Alan and Jake, it will go up for sale in the episode. Celebrities will be vying to purchase the property.

That’s where Ashton steps in. Ashton’s character is said to be buying the house, so that Alan and Jake will still have a place to stay.

Are you excited to see how the show’s going to play out without Charlie Sheen? Do you think Ashton can carry the show with Jon Cryer and Angus Jones? Let us know your thoughts!

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

It looks like Charlie Sheen was really worried about his ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, and her recent trip to Mexico for rehab. Could there be a reconciliation in the works?

Remember when Charlie was still trying to get treatment for the sake of Two And A Half Men? Well, he wants Brooke to get the same treatment that he did during that time — and get this — he’s paying for the whole shebang.

Apparently, Brooke hadn’t been in Mexico for all of twelve hours before he flew down on a private jet to pick her up and bring her back to the States. He said that he felt the treatment in Mexico was dangerous and was worried that she might die. The treatment involved a drug called Ibogaine, which is not legal in the United States.

He’s got Brooke holed up at a secret location with his former team of doctors helping her get rid of her addictions. It must be nice to have a ton of money to just throw at your problems. But still, we can’t take away from the fact that he’s doing a good thing for his ex-wife.

Should Charlie and Brooke get back together? Or is she too old for him?

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Porn star Bree Olson has revealed that she ended her relationship with warlock Charlie Sheen after she no longer felt comfortable sharing him with his other girlfriend, Natalie Kenly.

Bree left Charlie in April 2011, reportedly, via text message. Now, the dirty details are coming out!

In a new interview, she said, “His assistant said, ‘So you know about Natty, right? Charlie did tell you about Natty?’ I had no idea. When I got to the house my jaw dropped. I was like, ‘Wow. This is his girlfriend. This is so weird.’ Charlie said, ‘Now all three of us can be together.’ I was like, ‘Wow. Okay. Let’s see how this goes…’”

She went on to say that she fell for Charlie, but it was ruined by jealousy as they competed for his attention. She added, “She would spend the whole time fighting for attention and boast about things she had done like cleaning the dishes. She would get very upset and she would cry a lot. I would never try it again – with two girls and one guy in a relationship. However cool a girl tries to say she is about it, jealousy is a natural human reaction. There are too many things in the way. And if I can’t do it – a former porn star – there isn’t much hope for anyone else.”

Charlie even tried to get Bree back after Natalie left, but it was to no avail. Are you surprised by any of this?

We were sure that Charlie Sheen wouldn’t be out of the television game for long. Since being fired from his show, Two And A Half Men, Charlie’s been hard at work at cultivating his image as a crazy man. So, suffice it to say, the idea of a show called Anger Management seems to be the perfect fit!

Charlie said in a press release, “I chose ‘Anger Management’ because, while it might be a big stretch for me to play a guy with serious anger management issues, I think it is a great concept. It also provides me with real ownership in the series, a certain amount of creative control and the chance to be back in business with one of my favorite movie producers of all time, Joe Roth.”

The television show is based on the 2003 movie of the same name, which stars Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Joe Roth commented, “Who better than Charlie Sheen to tackle ‘Anger Management’. With Charlie’s incredible talent and comedic gifts, he remains the leading man of TV sitcoms. I’m excited to collaborate with him once again.”

Are you excited to watch Charlie’s new show?

Just a day after Brooke Mueller was spotted out and about with what appeared to be a makeshift crack pipe, we’ve learned that she and ex-husband Charlie Sheen are not required to undergo any type of drug testing per their custody arrangement. How convenient!

TMZ showed photos of Brooke that were taken last week, with something suspicious in her hand. Could it have been a crack pipe? Perhaps. Either that or a rolled up baggy. Either way, it doesn’t matter. It won’t affect the agreement that she has with Charlie for the custody of their twins.

Reportedly, the Department of Children and Family Services has not visited Charlie nor Brooke’s homes within the past six months. In addition to that, there has been no order to determine if either party are fit to raise those children.

Apparently that doesn’t matter, either, because whenever Brooke checks herself into rehab, her parents step in to be caretakers of the former couple’s twins, Max and Bob. So at least that’s something, right?

Do you think Charlie and Brooke should have to be drug tested? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

Brooke Mueller is concerned that she has a giant target on her back in her ex-husband, Charlie Sheen’s upcoming Roast on Comedy Central. Like Charlie, Brooke has fueled some crazy stories about herself, but her problem is that she doesn’t want it in the national spotlight.

Legally, Charlie is forbidden from talking about her drug use publicly, but technically, are the other people involved in the Roast also bound by those terms?

Brooke says that she wants her name off-limits during Charlie’s roast on September 10th. Brooke’s people said, “He better not go there.”

She’s so serious about keeping her name off of the hot topic list that her people are considering sending Comedy Central a letter, telling them to stay away from poking fun at her. Yes, Charlie is bound by the terms of their divorce decree, not to go on record about her drug use, but there are others there who aren’t bound by that contract. Someone’s bound to spout off about her recent trip to the pawn shop in the wee hours of the morning, where she was “trying to help a friend.”

What do you think?

Winning (?) warlock Charlie Sheen is gearing up to be roasted on Comedy Central in September!

In a statement, Charlie said, “You could say I’ve been providing kindling for this Roast for a while… It’s time to light it up. It’s going to be epic.”

I think to say that he’s been providing kindling for a Roast, is quite the understatement, don’t you? I mean, he’s been providing a mega-ton of wood for that fire. A TON!

With the girlfriends, hookers and everything else left in his wake, I can’t even imagine what they’re going to say. Reportedly, the Roast will be taped in Los Angeles on September 10th and will air on September 19th. September 19th also happens to be the same day that the newly revamped Two And A Half Men with Ashton Kutcher airs.

A Comedy Central rep said, “Charlie has assured us that nothing will be off limits in this Roast…which even scares us.”

Will you be watching?!??

Bree Olson left Charlie Sheen back in April to pursue a life of porn and Playboy photos. Reportedly, she broke things off with the actor via text message. Now, we’ve learned that his one remaining goddess, Natalie Kenly, has also left him!

A week ago, Natalie moved out, but Charlie seemed to be recovering nicely with three different women. It won’t put a cramp in his warlock lifestyle, right? He was seen hanging with the three new women on the same night that Natalie left.

Apparently he was miffed at her exit, as he’s reported to have asked Natalie for the Mercedes that he’d given her.

TMZ reports:

According to sources close to the actor, Charlie brushed off the break-up, claiming it’s “not a common thing for the Masheen!”

We’re told Charlie’s penis celebrated the split by declaring war on the entire world, conquering three women from three different countries — Mexico, Australia, and Colombia — the very night Kenly walked out.

Perhaps the money well is drying up?

Now that Charlie Sheen has been replaced by Ashton Kutcher on Two And A Half Men, he has been searching for a new home on network television.

Now, Charlie is negotiating a big offer for a new TV series that could hit television screens as early as January, 2012. The deal that Charlie’s reps are working on could be done as early as the weekend.

TMZ has more:

Our sources say the sitcom is being written specifically around Charlie and will air on a broadcast network. The deal does not call for a pilot. The show would go straight to series.

Our sources would not reveal details about the sitcom, except to say Chuck Lorre is NOT involved.

Will you tune in to watch Charlie’s new television show? Is he even winning anymore?

I wonder what the show is going to be about. Does anyone have any guesses/information? We’ll update as soon as we have more information! Stay tuned!

Even though he has tweeted his support for his Two And A Half Men replacement Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen is miffed about the whole thing!

On Friday, May 13th, Charlie tweeted, “#Winning Congrats to the cast and crew…CBS & WB..! My best to @aplusk !! The show must go on… You got the right guy! c”

Since, we’ve learned that the casting change has upset the warlock! Reportedly, he is furious that CBS has decided to replace him with Ashton.

A source said, “He really thought that he would be invited back. After years of suffering no consequences for his behavior, why would he think anything else? Finally it has sunk in that he doesn’t live by different rules to everyone else. Actions do have consequences. He is destroyed that Ashton is replacing him. Destroyed.”

The source added, “We are all worried that he hasn’t hit bottom yet and that this could make him spiral out of control again. Especially after all the other productions that he assumed would happen have fell apart.”

What should Charlie do now?

Jon Cryer has really kept a low profile since Charlie Sheen exploded in a anger-filled rant at Two And A Half Men creator, Chuck Lorre. He has poked fun at himself, joking that he’d taken on a job answering phones for talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres (photographed at the reception desk above). Now, Jon has something to say now that the news has circulated that Ashton Kutcher is stepping in for a new role on the hit TV show.

Jon has revealed that he’s “jazzed” about the news that Ashton will be joining the cast of the show. Jon said in a statement, “I’m jazzed about the news this morning that Two And A Half Men is coming back! For all the rest of the cast and crew I’m sure they are equally excited…Ashton is an extraordinarily talented guy and his presence will be an asset to our show. We are old friends from our male modeling days and we’re both looking forward to being judged for our comedic artistry, as opposed to our exceptional physical beauty.”

Jon also had some words for his former co-worker, Charlie Sheen. He said, “I want to express my enormous gratitude to Charlie Sheen for eight great seasons. I’m extremely proud of the work we’ve done together and I will miss him. But I’m also looking forward to this new beginning.”

In a recent statement, however, Charlie said that the show would basically fail without him. What do you think of the casting for the show? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

It looks like someone over at CBS had the bright idea to hire Michael Kelso Ashton Kutcher has been tapped to replace Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men.

A lot of names have made the rounds for the character’s replacement on the show, including Rob Lowe, Jeremy Piven, John Stamos and as of yesterday, Hugh Grant. Sources have confirmed to Earsucker.com that Ashton is negotiating his “huge payday”. The Hollywood Reporter dishes:

Two sources close to the deal-making tell The Hollywood Reporter that the actor is putting the final touches on a deal to replace Charlie Sheen as the star of TV’s No. 1 comedy. CBS, studio Warner Bros. and Kutcher’s reps at CAA declined to comment on the situation but a deal is said to be all but signed. The exact dollar figure he will be paid is not known but a source says Kutcher is getting a “huge payday” to join the hit sitcom.

Ashton has yet to confirm the new role, but has taken to his official Twitter account to say, “what’s the square root of 6.25?”

What do you think of the casting? Is it a good move to have Ashton on the show? At least the cast and crew will start getting paid again, right? What will Charlie Sheen do next? Does anyone really care at this point? Sound off in the comments!

Charlie Sheen is down a goddess – and now we know why!

Apparently, former girlfriend, Bree Olson, also known as Rachel Oberlin, decided to jump off the Charlie train and onto posing nude for Playboy magazine.

The former porn star tweeted the above photo, saying, “So EXCITED!!!”

After ditching Charlie via a text message, she said that she wasn’t going to be doing anything else adult related. So I guess this makes her a liar….but somehow we’re sure that you’re not going to be that upset about it.

There has been no word on when the photo shoot will be available, but if you want to know what Bree looks like naked, you won’t have to go far. It’s called Google, people, use it.

If you’ve been wondering where Brooke Mueller has been since March, then look no further than her twin sons with Charlie Sheen, Max and Bob. Apparently Charlie thinks it’s cute to teach his kids, who are just learning to talk, to say “rehab”.

Charlie said that he’s teaching his two-year-old sons the word because he wants them to know where their mother spends so much of her time. He revealed that this is the first time he’s been able to spend a weekend with the kids since March.

He said, “I am teaching them words, because they’re speaking now. I’m teaching them the word ‘rehab’ so they always know where their mom is.”

Stay classy, Charlie…but I guess that is better than teaching them to say “drug bum”, so there’s that.

A few days ago, during his Violent Torpedo Of Truth show, Charlie Sheen told the audience that he didn’t shoot Kelly Preston during an incident in 1990.

Now, Earsucker.com has learned that Kelly is backing up Charlie’s story, confirming his side of the story. She insisted that the whole thing was a “complete accident”.

Suuuuurrreee it was. Why come forward with the truth now then? What was the point of keeping the details of the event under your hat for 21 years and let Charlie look like a violent fool? If it were an accident, why did they breakup shortly thereafter?

So many questions…

It’s official! Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are divorced!

The former couple married on May 30, 2008, but Charlie filed the divorce documents on November 1, 2010 and had to wait six months before the divorce was finalized.

They share twin sons, Max and Bob and per their divorce agreement, Charlie has to pay out $55,000 per month in child support.

Reportedly, Brooke is still in rehab to deal with her drug issues. They recently went to court when Charlie tried to take custody of their children, but his efforts proved fruitless.

If you hadn’t heard, on a recent episode of The Big Bang Theory, Chuck Lorre used his vanity card to describe a drunken monkey who was impossible to work with and addicted to heroin.

From his vanity card (via CelebDirtyLaundry.com):

Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse.

It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back.

Some said that Chuck was referring to Charlie Sheen, taking another pot shot at the actor for his drug related antics. Now, Charlie is blasting the reports, saying, “I have never done or tried heroin in my life.”

And there you have it! But if Charlie’s not the monkey, then who is?

Charlie Sheen is gloating over recent reports that his former show Two And A Half Men might not make it without him.

In a new letter to the show’s creator, Chuck Lorre, Charlie is taking his war with Chuck another step further. The letter blasts Chuck for trying to keep the show on television without him.

He said, “My fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you… A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat. I’m out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear; no Charlie Sheen. No show. And that’s exactly what it will be for you…every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess…That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.”

Wow, awful harsh words for someone who has been telling his fans on his tour appearances that he basically wants his job back. What do you think?

It looks like Charlie Sheen will be taking applications for a new goddess soon after all!

Last week, it was reported that Charlie’s goddess/girlfriend/porn star Bree Olson decided to leave him. Afterward, it was said that she was only going to Indiana to clear up her DUI case. Now, we’re learning that she has decided to break up with the winning warlock – via text message!

During his tour stop in Ft. Lauderdale, Charlie revealed that he is actually down a goddess and she did it in writing. That’s got to suck!

Still, we’re sure there are 500 tons of chicks waiting to take her place.

Charlie Sheen left his losing custody battle in Los Angeles at the last minute to make a flight to D.C. for his show Tuesday night. The above photo was tweeted by the actor, saying, “in car with Police escort in front and rear! driving like someone’s about to deliver a baby! Cop car lights #Spinning!”

Yep, apparently Charlie was losing twice in the same day. TMZ reports:

Charlie Sheen’s got another bomb on his hand — our spies in D.C. tell us people poured out of his show early tonight.

Perhaps he should just write an apology letter and beg for his job back? Oh, wait.

Charlie Sheen and his ex-wife Brooke Mueller are battling it out in court today over custody of their twins, Max and Bob.

Charlie is going after full custody, stating that Brooke is in no shape to care for the kids, since entering rehab. Since Charlie is fighting Brooke today over custody, Brooke’s mother along with Denise Richards have both stepped up to say that they would care for the kids while things stabilize in their parents’ lives.

Stay tuned as more details are made available!

After his ex-wife Brooke Mueller refused a drug test recently, Charlie Sheen is planning to go to war in court over custody of the former couple’s twin boys, Max and Bob.

The two had mandatory random drug testing as part of their custody agreement, but when Brooke refused to take one after a recent reported drug binge, Charlie went into attack mode.

Since, she has checked herself into rehab, but Charlie’s lawyer is seeking to change the terms of their custody agreement in court tomorrow. He is also seeking to terminate the $55,000 per month that he pays her in child support.

Those poor kids. Stuck in the middle of this madness. Who deserves custody? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife Brooke Mueller has checked herself back into rehab after refusing to take a drug test as ordered by their custody agreement. Charlie said that if Brooke checked herself into rehab, he may not go after custody of their children, Max and Bob.

TMZ reports:

Sources say Brooke disappeared for a time this week during her binging. TMZ obtained surveillance video of Brooke attempting to get money for jewelry at an Inglewood pawn shop.

It appears that she is trying to head him off at the pass with this move. Obviously she doesn’t want to lose custody of her children, so it’s possible that she was trying to show a court that she’s getting the help she needs.

Stay tuned as more details are made available.