earsucker

This video is just too funny!

They are so right, Katie Couric is the best unintentional singer, isn’t she?!??

College Humor released this funny video, for your listening pleasure. Check it out!

How come the best commercials come from Britain? This is so unfair.

This commercial is hilarious and paints a rather obvious picture.

Where can I send Billy Bob Thornton letters explaining my love for his music is also thanks to my influence from monster magazines that I read as a kid?

I also entered contests to become a Cosmic Cowboy kid and built model sets with bits of felt and little model railroad tracks and… holy crap I am just as insane as you!

The only way this could be any more awesome of an interview is if he had just looked at the host and said: “I want some nachos.”

Check out the video of him creepily staring into the camera, while singing “Angelina”.

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

David Cook was in Biloxi, Mississippi performing “Hot For Teacher” when he had a little bit of a misstep. It’s not that big of a deal, it wasn’t a monumental occasion, just a minor slip. It wasn’t like Joaquin Phoenix falling completely off of the stage.

He did a good job singing this Van Halen classic, too, don’t you think?

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Here’s the very NSFW language of The Lonely Island Featuring T-Pain, doing their new song, “I’m On A Boat“. If you’re not sure who The Lonely Island is, they’re the ones responsible for this song.

If you’re at work, save yourself the trouble and put the headphones on.

The song appears on their upcoming album, “Incredibad” which comes out on February 10th.

Image Credit: Amazon

Christian Bale went off on the set of Terminator: Salvation when he was interrupted by Director of Photography, Shane Hurlbut. Instead of doing the nice thing and asking the D.P. to settle down, Bale goes off on the guy.

Check out the original rant (warning: language is very NSFW):

Now, here is the remix, done by Revolucian:

Both audios are very NSFW, remember it’s Christian Bale. He drops the eff bomb like Paris Hilton drops her money.

Kristin Chenoweth does this spoof for Funny Or Die, where she sings about doing meth and makes fun of the show Intervention.

Love this!

This is just too freakin’ funny not to share. I found this on Digg and I laughed through the whole thing. Is this what we’re coming to when songs don’t make sense and the lyrics are just crap?

Enjoy!

Check this out, the wonderful people at SearchEnginePeople are having an SEO lyric contest. All you have to do is create a parody or original song regarding search engines, to enter. For the complete rules, go here.

I’ve already put in my entries, a tune to the song “This is my now” by Jordin Sparks, which I call, “Google is how” and the soon to be published, “Girls in da hood” as a parody to Eazy-E’s “Boyz in da hood”.

Vote Vote Vote!! Or– Enter Enter Enter!

It was fun. Check my first one out here.

Enjoy!! I did!!

I read over at Blabbermouth that Def Leppard’s working title for their newest album is “Sparkle Lounge”.

Say what? I guess I heard that right the first time. Clearly I was expecting something along the lines of Hysteria, Pyromania, or Euphoria. If they name their new album Sparkle Lounge, I’m going to have to clown them for the rest of eternity.

Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with Def Leppard. Pyromania was one of the first tapes I ever owned (and I still have it.) If they go all crazy insane and title their new album “Sparkle Lounge”, I’m going to lose a degree of respect for them as artists.

Darren Rowse over at Problogger has started another Group Writing Contest. This time, the theme is “The top 5″ of anything and at his instruction, we are to be as creative as we like and take this in any direction.

My top five is the funnies musical parodies out there today.

5. The fifth on the list starts with a Fergie parody of “Fergalicious” done by Greg Scarnici and the Oompa Loompettes:

4. Fourth on the list is this parody of James Blunt’s “You’re beautiful”, called “My cubicle”:

3. Third on the list is this parody done to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Beat it”, perfectly titled, “Just Google”:

2. Second on the list is the Paris Hilton parody, “Bitch and whine”. This is just hilarious:

1. And the top of the parody list goes to Weird Al Yankovic, of course, with his rendition of “White ‘N Nerdy”:

Performed by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg on SNL, it’s “Dick In A Box”! Enjoy the lyrics to this hilarious tune.

Hey girl I got somethin’ real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Girl you know we’ve been together
such a long long time (such a long time)
And now I’m ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow) You know it’s Christmas and my heart is open wide
Gonna give you something so you know what’s on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside — it’s my dick in a box
Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don’t mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl ya gotta know you’re my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs somethin’ real
Wanna get you somethin’ from the heart
Somethin’ special girl
It’s my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe
It’s my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
See I’m wise enough to know when a gift needs givin’ (yeah)
And I got just the one, somethin’ to show ya that you are second to none
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It’s easy to do just follow these steps
1: Cut a hole in a box
2: Put your junk in that box
3: Make her open the box
And that’s the way you do it
It’s my dick in a box… my dick in a box babe
It’s my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl
Christmas; dick in a box
Hanukkah; dick in a box
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box
Every single holiday a dick in a box
Over at your parent’s house a dick in a box
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box
Backstage at the CMA’s a dick in a box (yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)
A dick in a box, a dick in a box, a dick in a box…

Last year, crowned the World’s Worst Dog Owner, Paris Hilton is passing the torch…to her good friend, Britney Spears.

In 2005, Paris treated her pets like accessories, and was criticized accordingly. This year, Brit Brit shuffles her chihuahuas aside for the partying life….ummm, kinda like what she did with her kids?

My guess would be that a better list would be the World’s Best/Worse Celebrity Parents….This list could show off the superstars and celebs that actually care about their children and spend time with them OR those who chuck their kids in lieu of partying hard and forgetting they exist. I’m not saying any names….but Angelina and Brad already have three children and are looking to adopt more….and a certain pop princess is ditching her children left and right, and buying a house closer to bars?

Via Yahoo.

This is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in a while.

For all of your gift giving needs, guys….enjoy! :)

Justin Timberlake is bringing FunnyBack.

After spawning two more of the Federline clan, Britney has decided to call it quits with her leech of a husband, K-Fed. After supporting this clown for such a long time in his efforts to become a rapper and attempting to sell his crap cd’s for him, Britney has jumped ship. Kevin, on the other hand, has jumped the shark, like two years ago. That’s if he was ever popular, besides being a backup dancer for megastars.

It’s just a shame that she had to wait to have two kids with this loser before realizing that he was a total idiot. Clevelanders weren’t interested in going to his shows, among other venues.

So, what’s a K-Fed to do, now that he doesn’t have the backing of America’s pop princess?

The good:Britney will make a comeback and be better than ever, without that loser on her coattails.
The bad:They had two children as a result of their marriage, totalling four for the Federline clan.
The oh-god-my-ears:This idiot thinks he has talent.

Bonus: She did it via text message.

This is the most hilarious thing ever….this is true comedic genius. Very creative. Loved it!

Verdict: More!

Total props to UglyPictures

In this commercial, this guy is attempting to get a job as a brewer for this company. This is too funny to ignore…

Enjoy!

White & Nerdy————
Parody of “Ridin Dirty’” by Chamillionaire
New lyrics by Al Yankovic

They see me mowin’
My front lawn
I know they’re all thinking I’m so white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy?
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy
I wanna roll with
The gangstas
But so far they all think I’m too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy.
Really really white and nerdy.

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D
MC Escher – that’s my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawking’s in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin’ for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I’m a whiz at Minesweeper – I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers’ movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run
At Pascal, well I’m number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gun
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I’m fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

They see me roll on
My Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white and nerdy
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy
I’d like to roll with
The gangstas
Although it’s apparent I’m too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
How’d I get so white and nerdy

I’ve been browsin’, inspectin’
X-Men comics, you know I collect ‘em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect ‘em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for ‘em all
Even made a homepage for my dog
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin’ a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop, hope no one sees me
Gettin’ freaky
I’m nerdy in the extreme
And whiter than sour cream
I was in AV Club and Glee Club and even the Chess Team
Only question I
Ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk
Or do I like Picard
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin’
They laughin’
And rollin’ their eyes ’cause I’m so white and nerdy
Just because I’m white and nerdy
Just because I’m white and nerdy
All because I’m white and nerdy
Holy cow, I’m white and nerdy
I wanna bowl with
The gangstas
But, oh well, it’s obvious I’m white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
Think I’m just too white and nerdy
I’m just too white and nerdy
Look at me, I’m white and nerdy

Video here

Spoken:
Dee de dee, doesn’t mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there, you’re gonna find this song hilarious, and you don’t even know…it’s about you.

[Verse 1]
You dropped out of school cause you’re smarter than everybody
I got three words for you dumbass, “Ding, fries ready”
You try to outrun a bull, but nobody’s that fast
That’s how you end up, with a horn stuck up your ass
Roethlisberger needs no helmet cause he’s a star
But the year the bus left, he got hit by a car
You wanna go huntin’ for quail someplace
Don’t go with Cheney, he’ll put a fuckin shot in your face
If you bungee jump so you can fly through the air
I ain’t upset you ended up in that wheelchair
You ignore all the warnings, yeah you light up a smoke
Now you have to talk with a machine through your throat

[Chorus]
How many idiots can there be?
Some say that it’s 1 out of 3
If you don’t know then take it from me
You’re the dee dee dee

(spoken) you you you
dee dee dee

And if you are a Dee
Please don’t marry a Dee
Cause then your kids will be (what? what?)
Dee dee dee

(spoken) dee dee dee

[Verse 2]
You cry about the price of gas and war in Iraq
But you voted Bush in twice what were you smokin, crack?
Didn’t get a prenup, though you knew she was a skank
Now you’ve got herpes and she’s got half your bank
You were on top of the world with “Hit Me Baby One More Time”
Only a stupid bitch would marry Kevin Federline
You drink and drive and you think it’s okay
Now you’re cell mate’s weavin in and out the “hershey highway”
When you put tigers on your show and they can’t be free
They’ll bite your neck off and then you’ll say (chokingly) “dee dee dee” (cough)

[Chorus]
How many idiots can there be?
Some say that it’s 1 out of 3
If you don’t know then take it from me
You’re the dee dee dee

(spoken) you you you
Eee dee dee

And if you are a Dee
Please don’t marry a Dee
It’s genetics don’t you see?
Your kids will be dee dee dee

(spoken)
That’s what they’re gonna be: DEE DEE DEE!!!

[Verse 3]
Parents are to blame for all these dee dee dee’s
Letting their kids drop out and not get GED’s
You keep your kids inside cause there’s freaks on the loose
But yet you let them drink from Michael Jackson’s “Jesus Juice”?
You don’t care when your kids come home with D’s from class
What you need to do is get some balls and beat that ass
He isn’t stupid, you say he’s got A.D.D.
It’s that his mom and his dad are both dee dee dee!

[Bridge]
This test is too hard! (So they lower the standards)
I’m not good at sports! (So they give them all trophies)
My dad used to spank me (So they lower the standards)
I’m too fat for this seat (So they widen the standards)
They say no cause I’m black (So they lower the standards)
They say no cause I’m white (So they lower the standards)
They say no cause I’m Asian (So they lower the standards)
No habla Englais (So we all become Spaniards)
And you wake up one day and you don’t have the skills
To get a better job so you’re stuck on the grill
You’re wondering why Julio took your job
But you forget to see, you’re as dumb as a knob
Your ass is too fat to get out of the house
While you’re eating more food trying to figure it out
So they outsource your job to some guy named Habib
Cause he works harder than you and he’s got 5 degrees
And you’re asking yourself how could this happen to me
I’ll tell you why, homie! Cause you’re….dee dee dee

Dee dee dee
Dee dee dee
(Hat tip to Midnyte & Halog33k)

For your viewing pleasure:

Metal By Numbers
Music by Scott Ian
Lyrics by Brian Posehn

VERSE 1:
They’ve killed METAL twice, but it will never really die!
It’s kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy…

So grab your friends, some instruments and start a metal band
Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand

We’re coming to the end of the first verse…
Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus and then the second verse.

I know I just rhymed verse with verse
That’s because I’m sooo METAL, bitch, where’s your fucking purse?

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a baby could do it, just give it a try
Just sound like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

SECOND VERSE:

I have to change my voice to make me sound (gang) MAD!
If I tried to sing clean it would make your ears (gang) SAD!

This is the (gang) GANG VOCAL and I’ll tell you the (gang) TRUTH!
It’s four sweaty dudes yelling in a (gang) BOOTH!

Music really sucks now Posers and trendy FOOLS
But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!
It’s metal by numbers, it’s not arithmetic
John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson…they all can suck my PENIS!

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a monkey could do it, just give it a try
Copy Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

MOSH PART:
(BUILD UP)
Here it comes! C’mon! All Right!
ARE YOU ALMOST READY??
Dammit! I missed it!

(SPOKEN) This is the mosh part! MOSH!!!
Or don’t. It’s your call. I just stand in the back and try not to get hit. Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys. They’ll punch you and they stink. And look out for the screamo kids practicing their karate kicks. Dude, you look gaytarded. Oh no. Here comes a giant Mexican – he looks really pissed. I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it’s kind of gross. Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break…Oh, not yet. Here it comes… here it comes. GO!

SOLO(Jon Donais)

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a retard could do it, JUST GIVE IT A TRY!
Steal from Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

Verdict: Absolutely hilarious.

This little gem I found via Fark, is definitely the most hilarious thing out there right now. The title, “It Came With No Talent”, sums it all up. Watch this black and white short and be amazed. How do you make them go away? You stop paying attention to them!

Verdict: Thumbs up to Betterthanthemachine.net for making this happen. I’m still laughing.

I was originally going to post something about Paris Hilton’s video for “Stars are blind”, but this is just too funny to keep quiet about.
Via BBC News:

Banksy has replaced Hilton’s CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For?

He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog’s head.

A spokeswoman for Banksy said he had doctored 500 copies of her debut album Paris in 48 record shops across the UK.

Apparently, some agree:

No customers had complained or returned a doctored version, he said.

No lawsuit has ensued? Maybe Paris Hilton is wondering, too, why she’s famous.

And, about the “Stars are blind” video: Leave the black and white screened lovers frolicking on the beach to Chris Isaak, you weirdo.