earsucker

In case you were wondering if Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was ready to birth a guido or a guidette, you’re in luck. Snooki broke the news to “In Touch Weekly” that she’s having a bouncing baby boy! We’re sure she is just over the moon with excitement.

She told the publication that she and fiance Jionni LaValle are expecting a baby boy this September. She revealed, “Everyone said I was going to have a boy, and they were right!”

They are also trying to decide between two names for their bundle of joy and it’s down to Lorenzo or Jionni Jr. Snooki said, “I thought it was going to be a girl. I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls. It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!”

Now that she’s showing off her bump and is gearing up for motherhood, she talked about her cravings. She said, “I love anything cold and juicy, like Italian ices.” She also revealed too much information about her and Jionni’s bedroom time. She said, “Our sex life is hardly there! I just feel too icky and gross. I’m so not in the mood to do stuff.”

Bristol Palin really put her foot in her mouth when she opened it to express her opinions on President Obama’s support of gay marriage. Most disturbingly, she said that “we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.”

Ironically, her son Tripp is not growing up in a home with a mother and a father, so we don’t think Bristol has any right to speak on the subject. It came off as ignorant — and apparently Jenni “JWoww” Farley from “Jersey Shore” agrees.

She took to her official Twitter account to say, “Bristol should keep her uneducated, ignorant mouth shut. If you’re living in the past you wouldn’t have a kid without marriage. Hypocrite. It’s 2012! My best friend will get married one day and not just have a civil union with his man. Stop hating people.”

CO-SIGNED.

According to Us Weekly, Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi insulted fashion mogul Jessica Simpson for her size! Jessica, as you already know, is pregnant and looks like she is about to pop any moment now. Snooki is pregnant, too, but it’s still wrong to insult someone for their pregnancy size. Every woman is different, right?

The tabloid claims that Snooki said, “I would die if I were her size.”

Yes, Jessica’s bump is big enough to where she looks uncomfortable just moving around, but it’s temporary. It’s not like she got that just by eating and eating. She’s hatching a baby, y’all.

Now, Snooki is claiming that her comment was taken the wrong way. She took to her official Twitter account to defend herself. She tweeted, “I NEVER dissed Jessica Simpson you weirdo tabloids, get over it with your ‘pregnant war’ articles. I love the girl and her hot ass bump.”

It’s no secret that tabloids have been faking celebrity wars for some time now. Just ask Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston about their long rumored “love triangle”.

Snooki really isn’t one to talk about anyone’s shortcomings, is she? She’s a midget troll on Jersey Shore who humps plants and pees on dance floors. Jessica isn’t much better because of her loose lips about bodily functions, but she’s not putting people on blast for things that she can’t control.

What do you think? Hit the comments with your thoughts!

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino [pictured above is castmate Vinny D] is said to be getting the silent treatment from his Jersey Shore castmates when they are not filming the reality series.

He has already received treatment in a rehab facility for his alcohol and prescription drug addiction, but his castmates on the show have no clue how he’s doing because they don’t stay in touch with him.

Vinny Guadagnino said in a recent interview, “I haven’t spoken to Mike. I don’t really speak to Mike when I’m not filming but I wish him the best.”

Deena Cortese added, “I don’t really know how he is doing but we really are family and even if we have ups and downs we’ll always end up being alright. He’s like the brother I never wanted.”

Vinny also revealed that he doesn’t think Mike’s personal issues will affect the upcoming fifth season of the show. He said, “I’m not really sure, I know people who go through things like that and are fine so it just depends on the situation he’s in. We don’t know if it’s going to affect filming.”

He went on to say, “We’ll find a way to make it work, we’re a family, we like to have fun. It’s not that serious, we like to have fun and hang our and I think we’ll make it work.”

Now that it’s been revealed that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has had troubles with booze, it appears that MTV was threatening to fire him over it. The Sitch recently checked himself into rehab for his issues with drinking, but we’re hearing that the channel has been threatening to fire his butt because he was a hot mess.

Weren’t you of the mind that being a hot mess was what the show was all about? That’s what we were thinking!

According to TMZ, MTV was telling the Sitch that they were going to replace him on the show because of his problems with excessive drinking. TMZ reports:

According to sources, producers from MTV and 495 Productions sat Situation down for the first time while shooting Season 2 in 2010 — explaining his drinking had become such a problem … it was making it hard to shoot the show.

We’re told Sitch promised to pull himself together — but it quickly unraveled during Season 3, and producers had to speak with him again … this time threatening to replace him on the show if he didn’t clean up his act.

Sitch agreed again — and made a concerted effort to reel in his bad habits between Seasons 3 and 4. We’re told Situation showed promise in Italy during Season 4, but once the crew got back to the States … he was back to his old ways. This prompted another sit-down … and another threat of recasting.

Now that Mike is sobering up, there is the question about what will come of the new season of Jersey Shore. Snooki is pregnant and Mike is cleaning up his act — what does that leave? Who’s going to smush smush and drink themselves stupid in the bars?

No one has ever said that Snooki was smart — and she’s an “accomplished” author, television star and soon-to-be mother. Ha. Scary, isn’t it? To think that Snooki is actually procreating with someone? This is our up and coming generation, Idiocracy, isn’t it lovely?

Since telling the world via a tabloid that she’s knocked up by her fiance Jionni LaValle, she has taken to practicing for impending motherhood by using a baby doll. So she’s taking us all back to high school with this fake baby crap? Seriously, this is entertainment?!?

She and pal JWoww have been pushing around baby dolls in their strollers — all over Jersey City, New Jersey. They have even fed the dolls with bottles and covered them up with blankets.

So MTV is basically all out of ideas here. Snooki can no longer hump plants and get so drunk that she smooshes any random guido so it’s all over now.

I can only imagine what the next season of Jersey Shore is going to be like now that Snooki can’t drink and The Situation is in rehab. For five seasons, the show has been about this midget getting wasted and having sex with whoever. Now what?!?

We were wondering what was going to come of MTV show Jersey Shore after Snooki got knocked up and The Situation checked himself into rehab. Now we know…

Apparently since Snooks and Sitch are out of commission and can’t be partying like psychos, the network is going to phase them out of the show’s next season. Snitches close to 495 Productions and MTV say that the production company is looking for new talent for the next season. Surprised?

Snooki became known for humping plants and peeing on dance floors after booze-filled partying. The Situation is in the Cirque Lodge for an addiction to prescription pills and booze.

Did you think that anyone could walk away from a show like that without some sort of addiction? TMZ reports:

MTV released a statement earlier this week — following news Sitch was seeking substance abuse treatment — claiming the network expects the entire cast to return for Season 6 … but sources close to 495 Productions tell TMZ, the production company is currently looking for new talent.

According to sources, 495 desperately wants to keep things fresh — and folding in new castmates will help transition the show into a new generation … while still keeping old fans hooked.

We’re told 495 plans to limit Snooki and The Situation’s roles on the new season — giving new cast members more screen time instead.

Idiots. Do you watch the show?

From TMZ, we have learned that Jersey Shore actor Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has just checked himself into rehab! Now that Snooki is pregnant and Mike is in rehab, does that mean that the show is doomed? We can only hope.

The Sitch’s rep said that he “has spent the past several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest and recuperation after his extensive production and appearance schedule.”

TMZ has more details:

Like most of the ‘JS’ crew … Sorrentino’s been on a non-stop party train since the show debuted on MTV 2 years ago — drinking and making paid appearances at nightclubs all over the world.

Sitch makes anywhere from 15K … up to a whopping 50k per nightclub appearance.

MTV just announced “Jersey Shore” is returning for a 6th season … which is scheduled to start shooting this summer.

Drinking non-stop does take a lot out of a guy, doesn’t it?

Jersey Shore star Snooki has revealed that she is calming down as she prepares to start her family with fiancee Jionni LaValle. She has already confirmed reports that she is pregnant with the couple’s first child — along with being engaged. But now she wants to tone things down as she prepares for motherhood.

In a new interview, she said, “I’m 24. I’ve had all the fun I’m ever going to have in my life.”

Does she think being married and having kids isn’t fun?!? Or does she mean that she is all partied out?

She revealed, “I have different priorities now. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.”

Do you think Snooki is ready to be a mother? How about a wife? We are definitely interested to see how this one plays out. What we’re wondering is if her pregnancy means she is done with reality television? You know, is she going to stop humping plants and peeing on dance floors? Is that what she means by “fun”?

At the end of last month, we revealed that Jersey Shore star Snooki is pregnant by her boyfriend Jionni LaValle. Now, we’ve learned that’s not the only good news the reality star is celebrating. Reportedly, Snooki is also engaged!

It was rumored that Snooki wouldn’t confirm the news of her pregnancy unless she got a nice fat payout from a tabloid weekly, so we’re likely waiting on that. How much can she expect to make from a tabloid to confirm the news? She’s really taking the Jessica Simpson approach? I don’t understand that, considering that time will confirm the news for us — if we wait.

Still, she previously talked about her romance with Jionni, saying, “It’s meant to be! We’re lucky to have found guys that we have found.”

Are you wondering what a spawn of Snooki will look like? I’m curious to see if she tries to turn that into a business venture? You know, leopard printed onesies and gorilla shaped bottles? Only time will tell, right?

What do you think they’re going to name their baby?

At the beginning of February, reality TV star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi claimed that she’s not pregnant. Afterward, she also claimed to be insulted by the insinuation that she’s fat! Now, we’ve learned that she was lying about not being pregnant!

She talked to Opie & Anthony and when a snapper asked if she’s pregnant, she said, “NO!”

Afterward, she said, “Why are people calling me fat? That’s so rude!”

According to TMZ, she lied about the pregnancy because she didn’t want to jinx herself. TMZ reports:

Sources close to the MTV star tell us … Snooks WAS already pregnant when she went on Sirius/XM radio on Feb. 1st and told everyone she was OUTRAGED by the suggestion that she had preggo belly.

But we’re told Snooki is taking the situation very seriously … especially the taboo about revealing the pregnancy before the 3rd month.

Now, it seems Snooki has crossed the 3-month threshold … and an official announcement could come any moment.

So after this she’ll get another deal with Zantrex to lose the weight all over again?

Congratulations so Snooki and her boyfriend Jionni Lavalle on their impending addition! When’s the wedding?

The entire Jersey Shore cast has just ventured off to Florence, Italy to film the fourth season of the hit reality show. Now, we’ve learned that Snooki has gotten herself into a bit of trouble. Surprised?

The pint-sized reality actress was taken into custody in Florence after crashing her car into a cop car. Even more surprising, alcohol did not play a factor in the accident.

JWoww was a passenger in the car, and no one was said to have been injured. A witness said that Snooki smacked her car into the back of the police car, wedging her car between the patrol car and a highway protection wall.

When JWoww tried to make her exit from the vehicle, she had to climb through the car’s window, because the vehicle was blocked by the wall.

Didn’t they just leave the States recently? It didn’t take long for the long arm of the law to bust Snooki in foreign territory for something stupid, did it?

What do you think?

Reportedly, Jersey Shore star Jenni “JWoww” Farley tried to kill herself right after the premiere of the show made its debut, according to her ex-boyfriend, Tom Lippolis.

Days after the show premiered, he said that she called him and told him that she “swallowed a bottle of pills” and “insinuated that she tried to kill herself.”

He said, “I rushed home and talked her out of the bathroom because she locked herself in.”

He went on to say, “She was upset how she was portrayed on national television!” He also added that she may have been feeling guilty for cheating on him with DJ Pauly D.

Remember, this is the same guy who allegedly tried selling pre-plastic surgery nude photos of her right after she got famous…

After going through an awful breakup with Tom Lippolis, Jenni “JWoww” Farley thinks she has found Mr. Right in her new boyfriend, Roger Matthews.

She said, “I didn’t realize how happy I could be in a relationship.”

She went on to say, “Hopefully I’ll be able to settle down and have kids within the next couple of years — maybe even the beginning of next year. I don’t see myself going to the Shore in the next five years or so. I don’t want to jinx it — I haven’t really talked about it — but it would be nice.”

She’ll be in Italy filming the fourth season of Jersey Shore, but she’s hoping that the distance will bring them closer together. She added, “It might be hard, but I think it’ll make us stronger. I’m going to make sure he can visit at least once or twice, even for just 24 hours.”

What do you think of JWoww’s motherhood dreams?

If you’ve had enough of the Jersey Shore crew and their gym, tanning and laundry, then we’ve got some bad news for you. MTV has given the green light to film two new reality shows based off of the popular franchise.

MTV reports:

The network has indeed green-lit new programming that will feature Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Paul “DJ Pauly D” Delvecchio and Jenni “JWOWW” Farley. The two untitled reality projects, which will chronicle the lives all three, will begin production later this year and are slated to air in 2012.

Chris Linn, MTV exec, said, “The Jersey Shore cast is at the center of the show’s ongoing success and Nicole, Pauly D and Jenni have become household names as a result of their unique, sometimes outrageous and often hilarious personalities. We’re excited to put the spotlight on their lives away from the show as they pursue their individual passions, careers and relationships.”

Does this news make you excited? Or does it make you want to barf? Sound off in the comments!

Snooki is on the cover of the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine — and we’re still trying to figure out why. Wasn’t there a time when Rolling Stone was for rock stars from Mars? Heck, if they wanted to be completely disassociated from the world of music, they could’ve always put Charlie Sheen on the cover. Now that’s an issue that I’d buy!

She gave an interview inside the magazine and talked about Jersey Shore, spinoffs and how the show is just like prison. Oh yay.

On the topic of the show, she said:

If I do something stupid, which is pretty much the whole time, I hate it. I just hate it. Obviously, they’re only going to put the good stuff in, and the good stuff is us drunk, so all I’m seeing is me drunk and falling down. That’s how I am when I party, but some of the stuff I do is, like, ‘Really, Nicole?’ I look like a freakin’ alcoholic. I’m like, ‘You’re sweating, your makeup is running, you look gross.’ I just look like sh*t.”

On her plans after becoming a troll midget on television:

“When Jersey Shore ends I’m going to do more spinoffs. If MTV doesn’t want them, another network will be, like, ‘What does Snooki do now?’ or ‘Snooki’s getting married!’ What i’d like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. She makes millions….I’m trying to build an empire, because after this I can’t get a normal job. I mean, how do I go and sit behind a desk?”

On how the show is just like prison:

“It messes with your head. That’s why we go crazy. That’s why we fight with each other. That’s why we drink. We’re living in a house for two months with that sh*t. We can’t have cellphones, TV, radio or the internet. If the president died, we’d have no idea. There’s no normalcy. It’s just like prison, with cameras.”

Madness. We’d all be happy if she just went away already!

Accorrding to reports, there is a little more to the JWoww nude photo scandal story that we know about.

Her ex-boyfriend, Tom Lippolis went to court to try to release the photos, but has since been blocked. Now, her lawyer, Rudy Fusco said, “Jenni is obviously very happy that the judge saw it her way. Tom is out there right now, doing a lot of press, radio shows and the Twitter, the Facebook – all that fun stuff. I saw a post of his describing the pictures, and that’s not the whole story — trust me. The pictures are a lot more graphic than that. They’re not what he’s making them out to be.”

Reportedly, the photos were taken when Jenni was under anesthesia, but Tom says otherwise. Her lawyer went on to say, “He’s also trying to say that Jenni is just throwing this in there as a way to deflect attention from the contractual argument that they’re having — and that’s not true at all, either. If he remembers, we sent him a letter back in September requesting these photos and avoiding any legal action, which he obviously declined.”

He added, “There’s a lot more to the story that Jenni has not released yet. We’re thinking about releasing background information so that people can get a better picture of the crap that he’s trying to do and what these pictures truly represent.”

Oh just release them already!

Jersey Shore might be a ratings goldmine, but Snooki’s book, A Shore Thing, is said to be flopping in sales.

Reportedly, as of Monday, the book was number 591 on Amazon.com’s sales chart, leaving little hope for anyone to find out all about Gia’s adventures on the Jersey shore.

I can’t say that my feelings are hurt by this. There are talented writers out there who deserve a chance more than this girl. It’s scary to think that the only thing people need to get a book deal are a lack of real talent and a chance to be on television.

Who will write a book next? That chick from Teen Mom?

Jersey Shore has to be the dumbest show on the face of the planet. Seriously, does anyone who doesn’t need to feel better about their insecure selves watch this show???

On an episode, we think season one, Jenni “JWoww” Farley gave us this epic quote. She said, “I am like a praying mantis, after I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.”

And then there’s Snooki…don’t even get us started on that troll. I don’t know why we’re bringing this up, except to say that it’s an epic slow day here at Earsucker.com. After a long week’s worth of work, you just want to cozy up with some stupidity from these broads, right? I think I’ve answered my own question….no?

Thanks to Robyn for the heads up!

If you thought the real Jersey Shore was stupid, look at what these idiots are passing around on Twitter.

Snooki tweeted the above photo, saying, “love this” and JWoww re-tweeted it, adding, “Omg lol classic”.

What’s killing me is that these mini-me’s are all of about ten-years-old and the JWoww one looks so terrible. How on Earth did they think it was classy to make some poor children dress up to look like them?

Madness, I tell you. Madness.

Jersey Shore star Jenni “JWoww” Farley sure has some skeletons in her closet — of the naked sort.

Apparently her ex-boyfriend Tom Lippolis, says that he has nude photos of her before and after her second boob job and liposuction. They are currently battling it out in court over his claims that she hasn’t paid him his management fees. Still, she doesn’t want him releasing the nudie pics so everyone will see her reported botched boob job.

Tom said, “Before she had her second breast augmentation, she was uneven, scarred, deformed and had tons of cellulite. There were two-inch scars on her nipples and after the surgery, they had stretched the skin and removed the scars.”

He went on to say, “She is really concerned I’m going to sell nude photos of her. She doesn’t want people to see what she looked like before she had all her surgeries.”

Radar Online has the dirty details:

RadarOnline.com broke the story that JWOWW filed an Order To Show Cause at Nassau County Supreme Court on Tuesday in New York, with Judge Jeffrey Brown to stop her former lover and manager from ‘”cashing-in” on the images.

But Lippolis claims she is just using the photos to avoid the real issue… money.

“Her motion is totally unrelated to my original lawsuit for unpaid wages. This motion is her way to retaliate because she doesn’t want to pay me,” he told us. ‘I didn’t even try to market the pictures, but after I filed the lawsuit she decided to make this an issue. She is just upset because I have this over her head.”

Ironically, despite allowing at least two sets of naked photos to be taken of her, JWOWW reportedly turned down a whopping $400,000.00 to pose nude for Playboy.

Why all the chatter? Just release them already.

Further adding to the degradation of society, Snooki’s book A Shore Thing is being released in the new year. She tweeted, “A Shore Thing by Nicole Snooki Polizzi comes out January 4th :)”

She went on to say, “Thank you guys for all the love and support of my first book! :) you can pre order at amazon and barnes and noble!”

Are you going to pick up Snooki’s book? Are you interested in what she has to say?

Snooki’s ex-boyfriend, Emilio Masella is a real piece of work!

Apparently, Jersey Shore star Jenni “J-Woww” Farley got into a car accident, and the dude didn’t even stop to help! Even worse, he paid more attention to what she and her boyfriend were wearing than to offering them any assistance.

Emilio said, “I saw her walking around with her boyfriend. She was dressed casually in sweat pants and a yellow hoody and big dark glasses. Her boyfriend looked like he was dressed to go to a club in his tight black designer shirt. His hair was all spiked. When I was leaving the mall I saw someone was in a car accident and I realized it was Jenni. she has always been so mean to me, I didn’t even stop. I mean if she was hurt I would have helped but it didn’t look serious.”

Where’s the common decency?!??

He added, “She was sitting in the car with her dark glasses on trying not to be recognized and her boyfriend was outside talking to the people who had run into them from behind.”

Stay classy you!