earsucker

John Mayer, once known as a complete a-hole, is becoming nicer and more gentlemanly. He recently has been promoting his newest album on the show “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”. On the show, he discussed how his most recent attempt to dazzle a woman played out. He was putting “Fifty Shades Of Grey” into a song for her. This is a super cheesy attempt to get a girl to like you.

“I was trying to impress her, and she had [the book] on her Kindle,” Mayer said. “And so I said, ‘I’m going to sing it to you.’” He continued, “So I sang her one of the pages of Fifty Shades of Grey.” After he revealed her hilarious reaction by saying, “She fell to the ground … laughing.” This guy is a pathetic loser and a disgrace to all of men around the world. This guy tries to be nice and he realizes that he just makes himself look even more retarded.

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“I’ll never be that cool,” Mayer admitted to Jimmy. He could say that again. Take her on a romantic date. Don’t sing a controversial book to her.

John Mayer is now voicing his regret for describing former girlfriend Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm”. John and Jessica dated for nine months between 2006 and 2007 and in an interview, he described how Jessica was in the sack.

Now he says that he regrets his comments, but said that he did it to make himself appear more exciting. It sounds like a bit of a douche move to us, but that’s John Mayer, isn’t it?

He revealed in a new interview, “I had nothing to say. I was going through a time in my life where I didn’t really want to share what was going on, but I didn’t want to be boring.”

He went on to say, “When you’re just open, but not honest, then you start free-associating garbage. It doesn’t mean I can go back and scrub it out, bit I understand it now.”

During his interview for “Playboy” magazine, he said, “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Afterward, Jessica blasted John for his comments, saying, “I don’t want people to know how I am in bed!”

I had no idea that John Mayer was such a fan of “The Bachelor”, but apparently that’s how he’s been spending his free time. During a recent appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, John revealed that he is absolutely obsessed with the reality show. After a friend nudged him to follow the show and give it a chance, he said that he caved in and began watching as Brad Womack tried to find love.

He said, “I don’t even feel like it’s my fault for liking it. It’s not a guilty pleasure. It’s designed to be a pleasure. It’s like a producer’s game. I wouldn’t be as excited to meet a cast member as I’d be to meet the guy who cuts that show. They have to ask someone like Ben like, ‘Okay, Ben, we need you to walk out on the balcony without a shirt and just think.’”

After doing an impression of Ben Flajnik, Ellen asked his opinion on the last season’s winner, Courtney Robertson. He said, “There was nothing you could say to Ben to not pick Courtney. Girls were coming up to him, like, ‘I watched Courtney rip somebody’s face off.’ And he’d go, ‘I’ll take that under consideration.’”

Ellen asked, “What if they come to you and say, ‘Would you be the Bachelor?’” He responded, “It’s one of those things where I would waste their time taking a meeting, just so I could hear more about it. Ultimately I’d say no. But I would just have to take the meeting.”

Do you think John would make a good Bachelor?

Rumor has it that Jennifer Aniston is having more trouble with regard to her love life. We’re not going to jump on the “Jennifer is unlucky in love” bandwagon, which we all know is just ridiculous. Recent speculation suggests that Jennifer is considering leaving her boyfriend Justin Theroux for her ex-boyfriend, John Mayer.

To those rumor-mongers, we would have to ask, “Why would Jennifer go backwards?” Seriously. This was a man who arranged their get-togethers and called the paparazzi to inform them so he and Jen would get photographed together as a couple. He arranged a covert mission to put out a decoy for them to get out of the media blitz, even though no one was there to take their picture on that occasion. He also talked about his relationship with Jennifer to the media, so we’re highly doubting that she’s looking to go back to that.

Apparently, John has written a song called “Shadow Days”, in which he sings about his relationship with Jennifer. An insider told “OK!” magazine, “When Jen heard he’d written a song about their breakup, she immediately downloaded it and listened – and the tears were rolling down her face. Jen has a lot of wonderful memories from her days with John, and they all came flooding back.”

Did the tabloids just run out of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston love triangle stories?

John Mayer has revealed on his official website that he has undergone surgery on his throat to remove a granuloma just above his vocal cord. Now, he says that he’s currently on vocal rest.

He writes:

I wanted to give you an update on the granuloma just above my vocal cord. I had surgery this afternoon to remove it and am now on complete vocal rest for a month or more. It’s been a very long process in waiting to see if time was an alternative to surgery, but even given two weeks’ voice rest (along with many other approaches), there was no change for the better.

We’re praying that he’ll be able to contribute more to the world of music — when he’s all better. Stay strong, John.

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Yesterday, singer John Mayer took to his official Tumblr account to tell his legion of fans that he was forced to cancel some shows. The reason? He’s suffering from a granuloma.

He wrote:

Hi everyone,

After several months of going week to week monitoring and hoping to correct the condition, I am forced to cancel my upcoming singing engagements due to something next to my vocal cords called a granuloma.

I’m bummed to have to bow out of both the iheartradio Music Festival in Las Vegas and an appearance with Tony Bennett in Los Angeles. I know there were people depending on me to be there and I’m sorry that I can’t be on those stages.

‘Born and Raised’ is complete as far as music recording, song selection, and in some cases mixing, but because of this condition I couldn’t finish singing on several of the tracks. This means the record will be released next year instead of this fall or winter.

This is a temporary setback, though I’m not sure how long or short a period of time it will be. I’ve got the best doctors in the country looking after me and I will be singing and touring again as soon as I get the all clear. Until then I’ll be spending time writing and composing more music and kicking an empty soup can around the West Village.

I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon. Until then take good care.

John

We checked Wikipedia for “granuloma” and here’s what we’ve found:

Granuloma is a medical term for a tiny collection of immune cells known as macrophages. Granulomas form when the immune system attempts to wall off substances that it perceives as foreign but is unable to eliminate. Such substances include infectious organisms such as bacteria and fungi as well as other materials such as keratin and suture fragments. A granuloma is therefore a special type of inflammation that can occur in a wide variety of diseases.

Get well soon, John! Let’s hope that he’s able to get this condition taken care of!

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Now that Jennifer Aniston is happily moving in with her boyfriend, Justin Theroux, we’re hearing something from the peanut gallery AKA her ex-boyfriend, John Mayer. Figures.

Apparently, he’s so distraught with regret that he’s eating like a broke college student. A pal of his reportedly said, “She was the one who got away. He’s definitely not thrilled to see Jen in so many photos with a new guy – especially one who is a cooler version of him.”

HA. A cooler version. His “pal” did NOT say that. If he did, then that dude needs to turn in his friend card, immediately. Celebitchy has more:

Now spending his time gorging on pizza bites, Hot Pickets and Smucker’s Uncrustables while writing new tunes in his home in L.A.’s Pacific Palisades, Mayer, 33, is ahem, heavy with regrets. “He’s just eating microwave food and getting chunky,” the pal adds of Mayer, who had notoriously held an impromptu street press conference to discuss an initial split with Aniston in 2008. “Seeing Jen happy now isn’t easy. He cared about her more than any of his other girlfriends.”

Too funny. I’m sure he’ll find some famewhore that’s willing to give him some comfort. Elisabetta Canalis is free.

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

We haven’t heard a whole lot of anything from John Mayer as of late…but apparently he is still holding a candle for his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston. Who knew?!??

When they were together, he only seemed to use her for the publicity, so why even bother???

Now that she’s steadily dating Justin Theroux, it seems that John wants her back. This sounds like a bad country song to us!

Reportedly, John has been sending her text messages, non-stop. A source said, “Jennifer is totally involved with Justin, and wants absolutely nothing to do with John. John broke Jen’s heart, but that doesn’t seem to faze him.”

The source went on to reveal, “He’s been relentless in his pursuit of Jennifer lately – texting her witty messages, sending love poems and calling to ask her out. But it’s been two years since they were together and Jen sees it as far too little too late. She feels she’s found a better, more responsibly and reliable man.”

You go girl. Ignore that jerk, you can do so much better!

Even though it was denied that they’ve hooked up at all, we’re hearing from a snitch that Miley Cyrus and John Mayer’s rumored romance was just a fling.

Miley doesn’t view her relationship with John as anything serious, despite the rumors of a hook up. Reportedly, the twosome kissed backstage at the Grammy Awards. Afterward, she was said to have followed him around all night like a lost puppy.

A source close to Miley said, “She definitely has a ‘flavor of the moment’ love life. She falls for the people she hangs out with and then when they stop working together it becomes a case of ‘out of sight, out of mind’. John was just a fling, nothing too serious.”

Reports recently hit the internet that Miley Cyrus was flirting with John Mayer backstage at the Grammy Awards. The rumors that circulated suggested that the Disney starlet grabbed his butt and he gave her a kiss when no one was looking. Sounds scandalous, doesn’t it?

Only if it were true!

The reports stated that, “She followed John around all night like a puppy dog”, adding that she “put her arm around his waist an even grabbed his behind.” Miley can do better than that, right???

A source close to Miley said that the reports of any hook up or otherwise between she and John are “not true” and also revealed that the two of them “only said ‘hello’ in passing.”

John Mayer is reportedly inflicting his douchebaggery on none other than Miley Cyrus! Yes, we get it now, you’re an adult!

Even though she spent a day flirting with Joshua Bowman at Griffith Park, she was said to be following John around at the Grammy Awards, like a lost little puppy! Ugh.

A snitch on the scene said, “At one point backstage, Miley was rubbing John’s back and, when he thought no one was looking, he leaned over and kissed her!”

Eww.. Come on, Miley! What are you thinking?!??

Miley’s response? The spy said, “Miley slapped his butt and told him, ‘You rock!’”

So gross on so many levels!

It’s like the rest of the world outside of celebrity gossip circles just realized what we’ve already known for ages: John Mayer is an epic douchebucket. EPIC. There, we said it. And we would totally say it to your face, too, John. Because that’s how we roll.

John pulled out the douchey shenanigans with his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston — Thus being the reason why she’s his “EX-GIRLFRIEND”.

A snitch who recently hung out with his Royal Douchiness said that John was picked on and heckled by people on the street because of the notches on his bedpost.

The spy said, “Girls came up and yelled at him, saying he was a horrible person. Girls asked how he could treat women the way he did. People would tell him exactly what they thought of him.”

In their defense, John did dare everyone to tell him that they thought he was a douchebag if that’s how they genuinely felt. So in a way, he was asking for it.

Star magazine started a rumor suggesting that Shenae Grimes and John Mayer started dating. Shenae heard the rumors and has taken to her Twitter account to respond.

She tweeted, “According to Star magazine John Mayer and I are in secret sexy cahoots. How wonderful for me. If wonderful meant embarassing. X”

And there you have it! She is obviously embarrassed that anyone would think she would have anything to do with John. Ha!

Give the woman some time, John! For crying out loud, Eva Longoria isn’t even divorced yet and John Mayer already wants to put his grubby little hands on her.

A friend of John’s said, “John is crazy about Eva. There is something about newly divorced ladies that drives him nuts. He was the same way over Jessica [Simpson] when she left Nick [Lachey], and now he has his eye on Eva.”

On November 17th, Eva filed for divorce from her husband, Tony Parker. A friend of hers said, “No way is Eva thinking of another man right now. Mayer can send all the flowers in the world and even show up under her window with his guitar and it would make no difference. Eva wants some alone time. She is still heartbroken about her marriage falling apart.”

So, paws off Mayer!

She was rumored to be hitting it off with John Mayer, but now the rumors are heating up again Kim Kardashian’s relationship with rapper Kanye West!

In Touch Weekly reports:

There might be a fall chill in the air, but Kim Kardashian is keeping warm by snuggling up to Kanye West! Kim was spotted out with the rapper at Bijan’s Bistro in Chicago on October 19. Brian Schyler, a local jazz singer who was also dining at the late-night restaurant, tells In Touch exclusively, “Kanye had his arm around her all evening!” And Kim sat extra-close to Kanye until the wee hours of the morning. “He was rubbing her knee all night — they definitely looked like a couple,” Brian tells In Touch.

Who do you think is a better fit for Kim?

Page Six reports that John Mayer may have his sights set on reality star Kim Kardashian.

The twosome were said to be hanging out one night when she was in New York to film Kim and Kourtney Take New York. A source said, “They brought along other friends, but the idea was to see if they would hit it off.”

Interesting. Could you imagine the amount of oversharing that would go on in their relationship? She would be on Twitter, yapping about it constantly and he’d be eating up the attention. God, they could be the next Speidi. Run away, Kim…NOW!

Dear Huffington Post, John Mayer is tired of your crap and he’s not going to take it anymore. During a recent article on their site, they claimed that John and Jennifer Aniston were “back on”.

In the post, they said:

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ – no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

(continue reading…)

The day after LeBron James disappointed all of his fans, John Mayer has taken to his official blog to let us Clevelanders know, that he’s there for us.

In a hilarious video, John says that he’s going to play for us (at Blossom). And he doesn’t want his South Beach peeps to feel let down, so he’ll play for Miami, too. Check out all of the cities John will be playing in, after the jump! (continue reading…)

Billy Corgan was obviously unimpressed with John Mayer’s recent declaration that Jessica Simpson is considered “sexual napalm”. So much, that the singer is taking aim at Mayer for his Playboy comments.

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, the Smashing Pumpkins singer said, “I think for any person, who has celebrity, to sort of drop rocks at somebody else’s feet like that, there’s things you should really just keep your mouths shut on. There’s things that should just be left alone.”

The short version:

Mayer: Jess rocks in bed
Simpson: Everyone knows my game..Lulz (acts offended)
Corgan: STFU Mayer

How long can they keep dragging this out? Oh, that’s right, until her show has made its debut on VH1.

John Mayer recently tweeted this message about the new flavor of the month pop singer, Kesha:

Dear Ke$ha, you have won me over with your tricks and charms and I must tell you I really like your song. Though I must add I tried brushing with a bottle of Jack and I chipped a tooth on the glass. Where might I remit an invoice? Stop telling your friends you detest the ke$ha song and then dancing to it at home. How about some accountability, people?

Just yesterday, the pop tart responded with this, “@johncmayer dear john mayerrr. Don’t be a little b*tch wit ur chit chat. Jus $how me whur ur dick’s at. x”

Do you think that’s an open invitation?

Image Credit: Fame Pictures

In an interview with Playboy magazine, John Mayer referred to ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm” and said that she was crazy in the sack.

Now, Hole singer Courtney Love has something to say about it…Now that the fuss has died down some. On her official Twitter page, she said, “Do you ever feel like spite hate fucking John Mayer. Just to put him in his place, he’s a better guitarist than me but not better in bed! Say your fucking John Mayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times… Mayer’s a little bland for me and youngish. I’ll do young, but he’s neither Yale Harvard Oxford and he’s not really rock, so not for me.”

Anything to get the media spotlight, eh Court?

Lady Gaga’s cover of Q Magazine – Dipped In Cream

Scarlett Johansson used to be hotter, right? – Amy Grindhouse

Joslyn James responds to Tiger’s robot apology – The Superficial

Lindsay Lohan’s lips are in London! – Celebrity Smack

John Mellencamp for Senate? Why not – Pop Eater

Sean Penn charged in latest photographer dust up – ICYDK

Hilary Duff is engaged! – Hollywood Dame

Spencer Pratt weighs in on the John Mayer kerfuffle – The Star Celeb

Some more photos of Britney Spears’ Candies shoot – Poor Britney

Kyle MacLachlan is in London! – Busy Bee Blogger

Lil Wayne’s got a filthy nasty mouth! – DListed

Should Scotty Lago have been sent home from the Olympics early? – Starcasm

Kristen Stewart knows how to smile! – I Need My Fix

When John Mayer referred to Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm” and said that she was like a drug that he would sell off all of his stuff to snort, you would think she would be flattered.

Alas, she wasn’t. In fact, she was more ticked off by John’s insights. A friend of Jessica’s said, “Jessica was shocked. She was really pissed off at first when she heard about it, then she read the whole interview, and the first thing that she said was, ‘I’m annoyed John would sink so low.’”

Annoyed? That’s it? When TMZ caught up with her, she just chuckled at the news and said that she didn’t want to box him. Tame! John got off lucky. He’s such a douche.