earsucker

Paris Hilton took to her twitter page hours ago to inform her followers of an impending surgery.

“Getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. So scared! Hope it doesn’t hurt too much & hope I don’t end up having chipmunk cheeks!”

This little nugget of information should not be this amusing, but considering this is the woman who thought that Wal-Mart sold walls, one has to wonder if she is worried about losing her “wisdom”. Poor thing.

While we were busy chuckling away at the new ad that was yanked by Ford, apparently the Kardashians were considering legal action. You see, the above ad was posted by an unauthorized party and was quickly yanked by the auto giant. The ad above shows Kim Kardashian in a purple bikini, Khloe in a dress and Kourtney in jeans — and they are all three bound and gagged. Well, Khloe appears to have a ball gag in her pie hole while the other famewhores have their mouths taped shut. Yay duct tape!

In the driver’s seat is none other than Paris Hilton and she’s as happy as a clam. The tagline is “Leave your worries behind”, which is surprisingly appropriate here. Still, those Kardashian nitwits are all about the dough and therefore, quite possibly want to seek legal action.

The trio have issued an official statement on the matter, and needless to say, they are none too pleased. To learn what they’ve had to say about the matter, read all about it at Have U Heard. Trust me, this is totally rich. It’s not funny until someone gets offended — and then it’s hilarious.

In case you needed a good laugh and wanted to “leave all your worries behind”, here’s an unauthorized ad from Ford! The ad features caricatures of Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian bound and gagged in the back of a Ford — with Paris Hilton in the driver’s seat! You really can’t get any better than that!

The creative team at JWT India released the ad on “Ads Of The World”, but apparently it has Ford’s feathers all ruffled.

The company that oversees JWT India, WPP Group, released a statement regarding the situation. They said, “We deeply regret the publishing of posters that were distasteful and contrary to the standards of professionalism and decency within WPP Group. These were never intended for paid publication and should never have been created, let alone uploaded to the internet. This was the result of individuals acting without proper oversight and appropriate actions have been taken within the agency where they work to deal with the situation.”

In an email to “Business Insider”, Ford said, “We deeply regret this incident and agree with our agency partners that it should never have happened. The posters are contrary to the standards of professionalism and decency within Ford and our agency partners. Together with our partners, we are reviewing approval and oversight processes to help ensure nothing like this ever happens again.”

Somebody doesn’t have a sense of humor!

Heiress and spoiled Hollywood brad Paris Hilton has become the latest victim of swatting. Who knew that she was even still relevant enough to get cop cars out to her place? Rich people problems, no? TMZ has the scoop:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ a call came in at 5:22 PM PT saying someone was in Paris’ home. We’re told the call did not mention anything about armed assailants … like past “swatting” calls have.

According to our sources, cops arrived at the home and did not find anyone had broken in and deemed the call a prank. We’re told the LAPD is investigating.

It is unclear if Paris was home at the time, but she tweeted shortly after the incident from a concert in Miami … so it appears she was not.

Paris is relevant, who even knew that was possible?

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are not the best of friends as it were back in the day when Kim was her favorite hanger-on, but Paris isn’t holding a grudge when it comes to Kim’s recently announced pregnancy. Instead of chuckling about Kim’s ginormous butt getting ready to spread even further, Paris had some good words for the reality star. TMZ reports:

They ain’t exactly friends anymore … in fact, they’re more like fierce rivals … but Paris Hilton tells TMZ she’s happy her ex-BFF Kim Kardashian is knocked up with Kanye’s baby.

Paris — who is NOT with child — was on her way into Emerson Nightclub in Hollywood last night when we asked her how she felt about Kim’s super famous fetus.

“I’m really happy for her,” Hilton said.

Secretly, you know that Paris is hoping that Kim’s butt explodes to the size of a small third world country. Are we right? What do you think?

Paris Hilton’s new boyfriend River Viperi got into a bit of an altercation after he found Paris kissing on some woman. He was arrested on Monday morning in Las Vegas after partying it up at a nearby club with his multi-millionaire girlfriend.

The duo were partying at SX nightclub at the Encore hotel in Las Vegas when Paris was said to have started kissing another woman. Apparently River decided to punch the girl’s boyfriend as a result, which ended with the guy taking a trip to the hospital.

River was arrested for misdemeanor battery, but was let go and not taken to the police station. Police are still currently investigating the incident. It doesn’t make sense to us why he’d want to punch a girl’s boyfriend for making out with Paris, though. That just seems strange to us, don’t you think?

Just recently, Paris Hilton stuck her foot in her mouth with the gay community after she was recorded saying that they all have AIDS. Now, of course, she is apologizing for her homophobic comments.

She was discussing Grindr with a gay male friend when she basically said that she would be scared if she were gay and that they all have AIDS. She told her pal, “Gay people are the horniest people in the world. Most of them probably have AIDS.”

Since catching a ton of flack for her comments, she is now backpedaling to say that gay people are super cool people. She said in a statement to GLAAD, “I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans and their families with the comments heard this morning. Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know…Again, I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart and I feel absolutely horrible. I hope that everyone can accept my apology and know that it is not who I am or how I feel in any way.”

She’s so dumb that it took her long enough to realize that she had offended her consumer base. Doh! What do you think of her apology? Are you buying it at all? Or is she just trying to save face because she wants people to continue purchasing her brands?

Paris Hilton has been busted on tape saying that gays all have AIDS. Lovely, right?

During a recent trip to New York for Fashion Week, she spoke with a gay model pal in a taxi cab. Unfortunately for her, the driver caught her conversation on tape — and it’s not looking all that well for the heiress/airhead.

“RadarOnline” has the scoop:

The male friend says: “Say I log into Grindr, someone that’s on Grindr can be in that building and it tells you all the locations of where they are and you can be like, ‘Yo, you wanna f**k?’ and he might be on like, the sixth floor,” the pal says.

“Ewww. Eww. To get f**ked? Gay guys are the horniest people in the world,” Paris is heard saying in the exclusive audio in response.

“They’re disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS.”

The driver said, “I couldn’t believe what was coming out of Paris’ mouth and the way she was talking about gay men.”

She said, “I would be so scared if I were a gay guy. You’ll like, die of AIDS.”

Paris’ rep said of the audio, “Paris Hilton’s comments were to express that it is dangerous for anyone to have unprotected sex that could lead to a life threatening disease. The conversation became heated, after a close gay friend told her in a cab ride, a story about a gay man who has AIDS and is knowingly having unprotected sex. He also discussed a website that encourages random sex by gay men with strangers. As she was being shown the website her comments were in reference to those people promoting themselves on the site. The cab driver who recorded this, only provided a portion of the conversation. It was not her intent to make any derogatory comments about all gays. Paris Hilton is a huge supporter of the gay community and would never purposefully make any negative statements about anyone’s sexual orientation.”

Are you buying it? Listen to the full audio at the source.

Apparently celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson feels the same way about Paris Hilton trying her hands at DJ’ing as we do. Earsucker previously reported how much Paris sucks at being a DJ — and now there is someone else who agrees with us.

Paris played a short set at the Pop Music Festival in Sao Paulo, Brazil last month. Afterward, she commented that she had to re-work her entire set on the plane because she didn’t know it was going to be a pop crowd instead of a dance crowd. Now, Sam Ronson is factoring into the equation, saying basically what we said.

Sam told TMZ, “That s**t with her (Paris). It’s like, c’mon man. She’s tried everything now. Just put some quality behind the s**t that you do. Put some effort into it. If you do the work, your work will speak for itself, if you’re just like, ‘Oh I want to figure out how I can make more money this week’, it insults the people that work really hard at it. It’s like me calling myself a doctor from reading WebMD twice.”

SNAP.

Paris Hilton was recently involved in a scuffle with a photographer and now it appears that she’s trying to sweep that altercation under the rug. How about some positive PR to bury the news that isn’t so flattering?

Because this twit isn’t happy enough just doing charity for those less fortunate financially or health-wise, apparently she had to throw some publicity out surrounding her visit of a sick “fan”. The fan is six-years-old, bound to a wheelchair and seemingly a bigger fan of Lady Gaga. Ha. Couldn’t they get mother monster for an appearance? Perhaps this poor kid had to settle for Paris instead?

That alone makes us want to donate to the Starlight Foundation immediately. Getting the kids the stars they want to see instead of forcing them to sit with a retired sex worker who thinks she has talent.