earsucker

Levi Johnston recently released his tell-all book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs and revealed that looking back, he thought that Sarah Palin had a bit of a crush on him. Talk about awkward!

He said, “Even growing up my friends would always say that [Palin would flirt with him], it seems kind of weird. Then one of my publishers said she had a cougar crush on me!”

Ewww…that had to be creepy!

He said, “I guess I’d say, ‘Yeah, I think she did.’ Now looking back and remembering what everyone said. She never touched me or anything like that! Now it kind of weirds me out thinking about it.”

He also revealed that his son, Tripp, with Bristol Palin wasn’t an accident and that she wanted a baby after her mother had her son, Trig.

He said, “Bristol wanted to have a baby. It all happened on purpose. I wasn’t tricked into it. I kind of went with it.”

Madness!

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Bristol Palin’s ex-boyfriend, Levi Johnston has just written a book, in which he claims that her pregnancy was actually Bristol’s idea!

He revealed that Bristol felt slighted by her mother, Sarah Palin’s pregnancy that she wanted to one-up her mother and get pregnant herself.

Levi said that in March 2008, Bristol told him, “Let’s get pregnant”, because she wanted to be the next Palin mama grizzly.

He admitted to having “been too dumb” to use a condom with Bristol, and said that he knew “what she wanted” was to get pregnant by him.

Radar Online has more:

Sarah Palin thought Bristol and Levi were playing a joke on her when they first told her about their pregnancy, according to Johnston in the book.

He also revealed that Sarah even tried to make them put the baby up for adoption, but that was an idea that they both rejected. He said that Sarah wanted their son, Tripp, to call her “mommy” instead of “grandma”.

During an appearance on The Tonight Show, Bristol commented on Levi’s forthcoming book, saying that he’s “gonna have to find a screenwriter or something to come up with more obnoxious lies, so I’m not worried about it.”

The book is titled, Deer In The Headlights: My Life In Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. It hits the store shelves on September 20, 2011.

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

Bristol Palin is in trouble with her mother, Sarah!

According to new reports, Bristol got her butt chewed out from her mother after she got a tattoo of the letter “T”. What?!?

A source said, “Sarah really laid into Bristol, saying enough is enough. She’d better not read anywhere about Bristol getting anything else tattooed or pierced.”

Ha, so Sarah’s upset that Bristol got a tattoo? She’s old enough to do whatever she wants with her body….She had a kid as a teenager, but getting ink is where she draws the line?!?

Sarah is also said to be miffed about Bristol living with her former Dancing With The Stars co-star, Kyle Massey. Are they dating now?

The snitch said, “Sarah is furious at Bristol for going so quickly from man to man. She is doing her best to prevent Bristol’s new relationship from being featured in the reality show. Bristol is completely rebelling against her mother – now that she’s experiencing life outside of Alaska and away from Sarah. She has opened her eyes and realized how sheletered and programmed she was.”

Oh Sarah, when are you going to realize that you can’t control everything? Weirdo.

Photo Credit: Fame Pictures

According to The Globe, former Alaskan Governor-turned-reality star, Sarah Palin, is involved in some sort of cocaine scandal.

Their photo with the caption, “She snorted drug here” just says it all, doesn’t it? It’s as if no one told them that they’re missing a word, perhaps?

Is this an attempt to get people to discredit her in her possible attempt at the White House next year? Heck, she can probably do just fine with discrediting herself all on her own. She’s a moron in her own right, thank you very much.

So, unless the Globe has specific photos and/or video of Sarah sniffing the white lady, we’re not buying it. We’d like to believe it, but we need proof, people. Besides, does Sarah seem wired like your average cokehead? Probably not. No, she’s just stupid. And you really can’t fix that, can you?

Levi Johnston’s sister Mercede appears in the latest issue of Playboy magazine, telling everyone what they’ve already known, Bristol Palin is evil. Well, duh. She has a succubus for a mother, doesn’t that tell you anything?!??

In her interview, Mercede calls Bristol “evil” and a “sociopath”. Well isn’t that just dandy. TMZ has more:

19-year-old Mercede Johnston (above left) just WENT OFF about the entire Palin crew — calling Sarah Palin a bad mom who’s “never there for [her kids]” … adding, “She doesn’t make her kids go to school. She’d rather parade them around and put on a show, at book signings or conventions.”

As for Bristol — “Everything is about her, her, her. She has to have her own way. She’ll be supersweet and then she turns into the most evil person I’ve ever known …Honestly, she is the meanest person.”

Mercede adds, “I didn’t know someone could be so vindictive and evil …[She’s] a sociopath. She doesn’t think anything she could do or does is wrong.”

Mercede also claims Bristol and Levi PLANNED their pregnancy — saying, “They were trying to conceive for months.”

And for good measure … Mercede explains why Sarah would have been a TERRIBLE president saying, “I think she’d have had a mental breakdown if she was elected [president] … She can’t even answer Katie Couric’s questions.” Everything is about her, her, her. She has to have her own way. She’ll be supersweet and then she turns into the most evil person I’ve ever known …Honestly, she is the meanest person. I didn’t know someone could be so vindictive and evil …[She’s] a sociopath. She doesn’t think anything she could do or does is wrong.

Who knew that Bristol really was trying to famewhore it up and her mother would suck as the President?!? We knew that….Abstinence, my butt. She really was trying to get knocked up….she should have to refund all of the money that was given to her by those groups who paid her for speaking engagements.

Bristol Palin is so delusional enough, for one, to think that she can get knocked up as a teenager and then go on to promote abstinence. For two, she thinks that she actually had any shred of dancing ability for her stint on Dancing With The Stars…. Now, she thinks that we’re all jealous of her mother, Sarah. Oh yeah, that’s totally it. Give up now, you’ve figured us out. It’s jealousy.

The Palins really are as dumb as a brick, but they must actually believe the crap that they’re spewing to other people. Bristol gave an interview to Christianity Today, where she talked about how God is on Sarah’s side and we’re “all envious.”

She said, “Yeah, I think that people treat her poorly, they treat her with no respect, and I think it’s because they’re envious of her. She’s got a good family, she’s got a good husband, she’s got awesome support, she’s got God on her side, and I think people are envious of that.”

We totally ARE! Bristol’s a total genius….UMM, NO.

Bristol goes on to add to the confusion about her own public image. Since getting knocked up in a tent after being drunk on wine coolers, she’s become an abstinence advocate. As hypocritical as that sounds, she seems to be flip-flopping? She said, “I would much rather attend a pro-life event than an abstinence type of event just because I’m much more passionate about pro-life things.”

Whether or not Sarah is going to run for President remains a mystery, because Bristol knows and she isn’t letting the cat out of the bag. She said, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know. We talk all the time. What’s said at our kitchen table will remain there until she wants to make a decision publicly.”

God help us all.

Not only has both Sarah and Bristol Palin written books, now they are actively seeking out trademarks for their names. Bristol is coming out with her memoir, Not Afraid Of Life: My Journey So Far, where she says her ex-boyfriend, Levi Johnston, cheated on her. She also claims that she was drunk on wine coolers when they first had sex.

Now, we’ve learned that the mother and daughter team are trying to trademark their names. The two have applied for the trademarks and so far, their applications have not been challenged. That could possibly be because no one wants to claim the names and sound utterly stupid. Just a hunch.

Pop Eater reports:

Sarah Palin seeks a trademark to protect her name, or “mark,” for business and advertising, elections, entertainment engagements and for “providing motivational speaking services in the field of politics.” Bristol Palin’s application says she does motivational speaking “in the field of life choices.” One benefit to trademark protection is using the U.S. federal court system to sue for infringement. Government at work!

Why are these people famous in the first place? Sarah stepped down as Governor after losing out the Vice Presidential bid and her daughter is famous for getting knocked up at the age of seventeen. It happens to girls all of the time, yet this twit is now a household name for it. It doesn’t make sense, don’t you think?

If the rumors of Sarah Palin’s plans to divorce her husband Todd are true, then perhaps that would explain a few things? Most notably, that tour bus of hers, of which was recently defaced with a sign…?

According to The Globe, Sarah has “walked out” on her husband, moving into a house in Arizona worth $1.7 million. Of course, it also involves “cheating, lies and jealousy”. Perhaps no one has told The Globe, but the “First Husband” is and was always riding on the Pitbull’s coattails. Shocker, right?

Reportedly, Sarah is in the middle of hammering out a divorce deal with Todd, as she creeps on over to Arizona where her famewhoring daughter Bristol lives. She is also mulling over her possible run for the Presidency.

In the midst of all of that drama, Sarah is said to be miffed that Bristol for shacking up with Kyle Massey. A snitch close to the situation said, “Sarah is furious at Bristol for going so quickly from man to man. She is doing her best to prevent Bristol’s new relationship from being featured in the reality show. Bristol is completely rebelling against her mother – now that she’s experiencing life outside of Alaska and away from Sarah. She has opened her eyes and realized how sheltered and programmed she was.”

Are you buying it? Or are these rumors another way for the Palin Machine™ to continue the media whore train bus.

Despite the rumors that Bristol Palin only did her stint on Dancing With The Stars to make us hate television completely, her mother Sarah has another reason. She says that it’s due to the critics — and sticking it to them.

Sarah said, “She said, ‘The critics are going to criticize. The haters are going to hate. I might as well dance.’ Man, that’s a lesson. She taught us a lesson, ladies.”

What lesson? That you can be totally famous for having no discernible talent whatsoever because your mother was on the VP ticket and you got knocked up as a teenager??? Oh wow, big lesson there!

Ugh, these people. And Bristol sucked on Dancing With The Stars.

During a recent interview on Fox News, former Governor of Alaska turned reality TV media whore Sarah Palin has blasted comedienne Kathy Griffin!

Kathy regularly mocks the Palin family, but apparently Sarah has had enough and is calling Kathy out for being a bully. When asked about how she feels about the mocking, Sarah said, “You know, Kathy Griffin can do anything to me or say anything about me because you know, she’s a 50-year-old adult bully is what she is. She’s kind of a has-been comedienne and she can do those things to me, I would just ask for the respect of my children.”

Sarah added, “Kathy, pick on me, come up to Alaska and pick on me, but leave my kids alone.”

She should totally go to Alaska and pick on Sarah…I’d actually pay to see that one!

As much as I wanted this month to be the Sarah Palin-free month, I couldn’t resist offering a hug to the folks over at Us Weekly for bashing the former VP candidate over some stupid remarks made in satire — to Christina Aguilera.

Yes, Christina really effed up The Star Spangled Banner during her Super Bowl performance. This much is true. But Us Weekly did much MUCH worse. They took the words of a satire website with fake quotes and published them as real. Way to go, guys!

And I quote:

“Public figures must be held accountable for what they say. Here’s another case of an airhead diva going on TV, running her mouth off, sounding like a fool. She doesn’t understand something so basic about America, yet we’re supposed to tolerate her diva behavior? Americans can see through that, Sean.”

She went on to “say”, “Unemployment is at nine percent, yet we have to suffer through a performance by a foreigner with a poor grasp of the English language? If I were President, I’d deport Ms. Aguilera back to wherever it is she’s from and give Amy Smart a call.”

That is just too hilarious. It’s satire, people!