earsucker

According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Demi Moore has been partying with her daughter and chasing boys who are younger than her estranged husband, Ashton Kutcher. Once a cougar, always a cougar?

The tabloid is really just echoing what was revealed by People magazine in that Demi was just fearsome of growing older and wanted to hang onto youth. Their cover reveals that Demi turned back to drugs and self-destructs.

We’ve also heard reports that Demi was trying her best at getting a hookup with Zac Efron. He’s 24!

A source said, “She’s been really down, and she’s surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better. She’s been mixing pills and Red Bulls, among other things.”

On the topic of Zac, a pal revealed that Demi has inserted herself into Rumer’s social scene and has been trying to pick Zac up. The snitch added, “She calls him and texts him a lot, but he’s not interested at all. He thinks she’s a creepy cougar.”

Also featured in this issue is Kourtney Kardashian’s babymoon with boyfriend, Scott Disick. Because we all want to take photographers with us as we show our love for our partners, right?

The tabloid also reveals Seal’s new betrayal of estranged wife, Heidi Klum. “She feels used”, the cover reports. I can’t imagine it’s that bad if they’re both still wearing their wedding rings, can you?

Thoughts/

In case you’ve been watching The Bachelor, you know how much of a pain in the butt some of the ladies can be. At first we thought that Blakely would emerge as the show’s nastiest competitor, but alas, as it turns out, it’s actually the model, Courtney Robertson! Color us surprised (Spoiler alert: Not really.)

Read our latest recap of the show here, in case you haven’t been watching.

Obviously Ben Flajnik is blind to all of the things happening behind closed doors, but the public sees it. We see how nasty Courtney is with all of the other women. We’ve also heard the rumors that Ben ends up with Courtney. It’s not that shocking considering that the guy looks like the Geico Caveman in a suit.

The latest issue of Us Weekly features a piece on Courtney and her nastiness. She said on the premiere of the show, “With me, what you see is what you get.”

So it’s all nothing but nasty trashiness? Except when Ben is around, of course. An insider at the show said, “Nobody liked her.”

Former contestant, Amber Tierney, said that Courtney seemed cold. The spy also said “No one trusted her. Everyone referred to her as ‘the model who sits in the corner and plays with her hair.’ She didn’t feel the need to be nice.”

Eliminated emotional blogger, Jenna Burke, also said, “There was a serious case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

Of course she was nice when Ben came around! Duh. The insider added, “All the girls hoped Ben realizes who Courtney really is.”

He won’t. He’s probably already engaged to Courtney because he fears that he can’t do better than a model. Most likely, this was just a contest for her to keep her name in the media. Does she seem like the type of girl that would go for a guy like Ben? Seriously?

This week, Us Weekly manages to dive in behind the closed doors of Heidi Klum’s divorce from Seal. Their title? Behind Closed Doors: Heidi’s Private Hell.

Did things really get that bad between Heidi and Seal? We’ve heard rumors that his temper was the cause of their split, but they seemed to always put on a happy face for the cameras. So what went down behind closed doors?

According to the tabloid, there were vicious fights and jealousy, with four kids caught in the middle. They claim that Heidi and Seal’s nearly seven years of marriage was just a facade. A facade, really?!? Who gets married as a facade for that length of time and doesn’t have the last name of Kardashian?

Also featured in this issue is Taylor Armstrong, talking about how her former husband Russell almost killed her. In addition to that, they’ve got a feature on Kristin Cavallari’s pregnancy announcement and how that might have saved her engagement to Jay Cutler. Lastly, they are featuring Bachelor star Ben Flajnik, falling into Courtney Robertson’s web of deceit.

He needs to stop catering to Courtney already. Nobody likes this broad. If you’ve been watching the show, then you know how bad it is. She is totally conniving. We’ve heard the rumors that they end up together, but it’s most likely because the Geico Caveman couldn’t believe he was able to snare a model.

What do you think?

When the latest cover of Us Weekly emerged online yesterday, we were scratching our heads wondering what Katy Perry and Russell Brand were hiding in their marriage of 14 months. What would he have to reveal if he wanted to really go through with a tell all book?

The caption underneath his photo read “She’ll never forgive him”. When printing words like that, Us Weekly makes us think that Rusty tried to show Katy’s mother his rocket….

Alas, we’ve consulted the source and have come up with some juicy tidbits of information. The answer is just as simple as our attic troll brother Pat who lives in our mother’s attic and only comes out to eat and walk his dog. It’s the tell all book idea that’s got her panties in a bunch!

Not only are they claiming that Russell blindsided her with the divorce filing, but he’s writing his memoirs with juicy gossip about their marriage.

A snitch revealed, “Katy is insulted and feels betrayed that Russell has treated her so poorly. She will never forgive him. Ever.”

The spy went on to say, “He’s being so atrocious that she feels like she never knew him.”

Is this the work of the Katy Perry machine Kardashian’ing her way to further fame by looking like the victim? And yes, I just used “Kardashian” as a verb. You’re welcome.

What does she have to worry about anyways? It’s not like she was feasting nightly on cupcakes decorating his body parts. Unless she was….but no one wants to hear about that. Right?

Photo Credit: Revolution Pix, PacificCoastNews.com

Russell Brand didn’t really have much of a comment on his marriage to Katy Perry when recently asked about it, but now Us Weekly is reporting that he is planning on penning a tell all book about their marriage!

Talk about making a 180 turn on his views! Do you think it’s true?!??

According to the tabloid’s report, Russell is writing a shocking tell all that she will never forgive him for. They report on their latest magazine cover that Katy’s nightmare is coming true as Russell plots to reveal their darkest marriage secrets in his book. What does he plan on revealing?!??

It’s been rumored that she wanted him back, but that’s likely out of the window now that he’s going to write an entire book on the time that they spent together. Don’t you think?

Also featured in this issue is Angelina Jolie snubbing George Clooney’s girlfriend, Stacy Keibler. In addition to that, they’ve got a report on Chris Brown and his former victim Rihanna getting back together. Could it be true?

Lastly, they are featuring Heather Locklear’s breakdown and how her former boyfriend, Jack Wagner, begged her to go to rehab. I think that one has a certain ring of truth to it…don’t you? Her family has said that they want her to go to a medical rehab facility in order to get better. So it’s really unknown how long she has been mixing Xanax and alcohol… Let’s hope that she gets the help that she needs!

Stay tuned to Earsucker for the latest scoop!

Everyone seems to know the exact reason why things went south between Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Now, Us Weekly is jumping on the “he’s crazy” bandwagon. It must be the eyes. Either that, or they’ve seen Arthur once too many times.

Apparently they’ve gotten Katy’s side of the divorce story, talking about their final fights and her “shocking” discoveries. Also, of course, he blindsided her with the divorce. I’m not buying that for a minute. She wasn’t blindsided, she was out in Hawaii for Christmas without her ring, as he was in London not wearing his. She knew that was coming. I believe the religious aspect of their tale and that it’s quite possible that she asked him to do the filing because of her beliefs.

I want to know what she shockingly discovered! Is Russell Brand gay? Did she find him with another woman? Has he fallen off of the wagon? Did his forehead come alive like something out of The Thing and attack her while she was sleeping? What was it?!?

Also in this issue, Justin Timberlake’s proposal to long-time girlfriend, Jessica Biel. In addition to that, the newest Bachelor, Ben Flajnik, disses former Bachelorette, Ashley Hebert. For filler, they’ve got a photo of Rihanna and the title “How stars get thin fast”. LIPOSUCTION. Duh.

Kim Kardashian graces the latest cover of Us Weekly — in a bikini, no less. Does she look different to you? It can’t be just us, right? Did the photoshopper in charge of this cover go crazy with the effects or has Kim gotten something done to her face? We’re going with Photoshop, what do you think?

Kim is now claiming to be a size 2, because we weren’t flabbergasted enough when her gigantic rear-end claimed to be a 4 last year. If her waist is a 2, then her butt must be a 22.

Here’s the scoop on her feature in the tabloid:

Steers clear of sugar
The onetime sweets lover has dropped refined sugar from her diet. “Changing my eating habits makes a big difference,” the E! star tells US of keeping her size-2 body trim. Her healthy menu? “I wake up and eat eggs with turkey bacon, then salad for lunch and fish, pasta or chicken for dinner.

Goes organic
The newly single 5-foot-2 star has been inspired by big sister Kourtney, 32. “She’s taught me to eat more organically,” admits Kardashian, who has also downed wheatgrass shots with her sis. “She’s a bit extreme, but slowly I’m learning to love it.”

Sweats it out – hard!
There are no water breaks during the 31 year-old’s hour-long sessions with Gunnar Peterson. “Every minute is accounted for,” says the trainer. “You go from running to pull-ups to lunges to crunches to overhead presses. You get more work done in the same time.”

Can’t you just imagine Kim running around for EVERY minute, trying to work that butt off? Us neither, because, obviously, that gigantic scary thing is still behind her.

Now that Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Marc Anthony and has been running around with Casper Smart, apparently her divorce is getting ugly!

She filed for divorce in July, so why is he still bitter and upset?!? Apparently, he doesn’t like her new relationship with 24-year-old backup dancer, Casper. Why not? He’s been getting along with their kids just fine!

Us Weekly reports:

When the Latin crooner spotted photos of Lopez and Smart bonding with his son and daughter during a Thanksgiving vacation in Kauai, Hawaii, he “hit the roof,” one source says. “It caused a huge blowup.”

Even though they have already worked out a deal for custody of their twins, Max and Emme, a source has revealed that he may go back on his word. The source said, “He wants to make Jennifer suffer because she’s having fun with someone new, and he knows this will hurt her on the deepest level.”

Another friend said that Jennifer is “ready to smash him if he tries anything. It’s getting vicious.”

Uh oh! This is going to get worse before it gets better! Let’s hope that they can be mature about their split because the only ones it will affect in the end are their children. What do you think?

Gracing the cover of the latest issue of Us Weekly is the Royal couple, Prince William and Kate Middleton. They’re having their first Christmas at the Palace — and her parents aren’t invited!

According to the tabloid, the happy Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are doing it up for the holidays, but haven’t invited her family along for the festivities. Isn’t that just mean? Why not invite everyone for a huge celebration?!?

The cover of the magazine reveals that they will have gag gifts, elaborate parties and Kate is set to wear five outfits per day! Also featured in this issue are Diana’s private holiday photos and why she hated spending Christmas with the Queen.

Also in this issue, they talk about why Sandra Bullock is scared to date. It might be because the last guy she was with, cheated on her with some tattooed up trashbucket, but that’s just our opinion. Either that, or she doesn’t want to bring any random guys around her adorable son, Louis.

Photo Credit: Us Magazine

Maybe Khloe Kardashian is really super jealous that her sister Kourtney is pregnant for a second time. Earlier, we reported on In Touch Weekly’s claims that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant and alone, with both of her sisters seemingly turning their backs on her. Now, Us Weekly claims that Khloe will do anything for a baby with husband, Lamar Odom.

According to Us Weekly’s latest issue, Khloe is starting IVF so that she can get pregnant. They claim that she is thrilled for Kourtney and Scott, but is desperate to start her own family.

Also featured in this issue is Angelina Jolie, who is apparently starving herself. Teen Mom Jenelle Evans has been “destroyed” by her mother. Also, Kristen Stewart’s nightmare, which we reported on earlier in the week — Is Rob Pattinson cheating?!?

Poor Khloe. She’s the only one of the Kardashians that we can actually stand. Let’s hope that this isn’t just a ploy for publicity and that she can actually have babies, like she wants.

Also, we don’t really believe that Rob is cheating on Kristen, but it’s more likely that he was just hanging out with Sarah Roemer, because she used to work with Kristen.

What do you think?

Photo Credit: Us Magazine

According to the latest issue of Us Weekly, Kris Humphries used to call soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian fat. Well he would be partly correct, wouldn’t he? Her butt is huge! But that’s likely because she has had fat injected into it and/or butt implants.

Now comes the media train against Kris, driven by the Kardashian machine. He spoke out once to say that he was going through a difficult time and all of the sudden he’s like the anti-Christ of husbands. Go figure.

A source said, “He belittled her in front of people. He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.”

The source also revealed that Kris resented Kim’s fame and fortune, saying, “He tried to control Kim by bringing her down. He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.”

I have to point out that it wouldn’t necessarily be “belittling” if it were the truth, right? Does she have any discernible talent? My guess is no. Will her fame last? Not if I have anything to say about it.

Us Weekly has more:

He even took exception to her world-famous posterior, calling her “fat ass,” the source says.

And when Kardashian (who rarely drinks and tends to go to bed early) asked her man to skip the nights out in favor of quality time, “He would tell her she was acting like too much of a wife and ‘get over it,’” another insider says.

What do you think? Why are they trying to turn everyone against Kris? Doesn’t it seem odd to you?