earsucker

Here’s heiress and “businesswoman” Paris Hilton on the cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair Spain. Why Vanity Fair? Why Spain? Most importantly, why so freaking beige?!?

Paris is looking super Photoshopped on the cover. Seriously, you didn’t think her wonkeye magically disappeared on its own, did you?

Yes, here at Earsucker.com, we don’t pander to talentless celebrities in hopes that they will tweet our words of wisdom for a thousand pageviews. Nope, we call it like we see it. She’s useless and has totally paved the way in the world for people like the Kardashians to come in and take over our televisions.

So, we don’t like Paris. We never have. We quite possibly never will. That is, unless she saves the rainforests, baby seals, single-handedly gets gay marriage legalized and finds a cure for cancer, AIDS and death. Then we’ll look like total douchebags.

It wasn’t that long ago that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced that they were divorcing. Now, she’s already talking to Vanity Fair about the split, as if it happened so long ago. Was this interview planned in advance? How long did she know that she was going to ditch Marc?

Actually, the split was announced a mere two weeks ago and she’s ALREADY talking about it?!? So much for getting that privacy you wanted while dealing with your personal matters, right?

In the article, she said, “Sometimes it doesn’t work — and that’s sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love. It’s still my biggest dream. I am positive – determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer and person. I now look forward to new challenges. I feel strong.”

She went on to reveal, “I’m a hopeless romantice and passionate person when it comes to love. It’s not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself – if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.”

Someone shoot me now. Does this mean her PR tour is over?

In the latest issue of Vanity Fair, Justin Timberlake opened up about his ex-girlfriend, Britney Spears! They both have come a long way since their Disney days, haven’t they? Both are huge, successful singers…but it all started at the house of mouse!

Justin said, “I wish her the best – that goes without saying. We haven’t spoken in nine or ten years. We were two birds of the same feather – small-town kids, doing the same thing. But then you become adults, and the way you were as kids doesn’t make any sense. I won’t speak on her, but at least for me, I was a totally different person. I just don’t think we were normal; there was nothing normal about our existence. We spent way too much time being the biggest thing for teenyboppers.”

He continued, “It was exciting that we were having so much success and we could do whatever we wanted. And I mean that about everybody: Backstreet Boys, ‘NSync, Britney, Christina. At that time, we could literally go, ‘Oh, man, let’s go to Bali’, and we’d be on a plane to Bali. We were little kids with big toys. You do the math – that’s not going to last.”

He went on to add, “Ryan [Gosling] and I used to steal golf carts and go driving in the middle of the park to get milk shakes, and we never got in trouble for it. We though we were big sh*t.”

It’s not like Katy Perry has any real discernible talent, so she’s basically talking about the only thing that she really knows…of course, the only draw for men, her boobs.

In her new interview with Vanity Fair, she said, “I don’t care what people say about my relationship; I don’t care what they say about my boobs. People are buying my songs; I have a sold out tour. I’m getting incredible feedback from my music. I don’t take anything for granted. There are 500 other girls right behind me. And I know that, because I was one of them. I remember what it’s like to be someone who’s always trying to get there – sending out tons of emails…trying to connect with some person who could connect me with some other person. And I wouldn’t be working at this pace now if I didn’t truly know that fame is fleeting.”

Ugh. If she could only go away already. No one cares about your boobs, really. I mean, men would care if you came with some duct tape for that mouth of yours, but that’s it really.

If your mouth was watering waiting for more photos to be released from Robert Pattinson’s Vanity Fair photo shoot, then you’re in luck!

We’ve got the cover of the magazine and Rob has an alligator around his neck!!!

The caption is “Robert Pattinson wrestles his way out of the Twilight zone”. Nice! You gotta love that eighties inspired hat that kicks you back to the time of Boy George. Seriously, though. I don’t get the RPattz fascination. Maybe I just like vampires that actually bite and kill people, I don’t know.

Vampires aren’t supposed to sparkle!!!! Meanwhile, he’s in the middle of filming Breaking Dawn with Kristen Stewart and all of his fans are swooning in Vancouver! I just don’t get it.

The world needs more real-ish vampires, thank you very much.

Robert Pattinson took time out earlier this month from filming Breaking Dawn with his castmates in New Orleans to have his picture taken for his upcoming Vanity Fair spread!

The Twilight actor posed for photos with famed photographer Annie Leibovitz.

The issue featuring Rob on the cover is set to hit newsstands on March 3, 2011. Most recently, Rob spoke about how he usually gets nervous in interviews, mostly because he’s shy. (Read about that here.)

Want to Have A Part In Breaking Dawn With Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart? Learn How HERE

Check out the photos from the VF shoot, below! Click the thumbnails twice to get the largest view!

Vanity Fair has just released their annual Hollywood Issue!

In the photos, you’ll see Ryan Reynolds, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, Anthony Mackie, Olivia Wilde, Jesse Eisenberg, Mila Kunis, Robert Duvall, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Andrew Garfield, Rashida Jones, Garrett Hedlund, and Noomi Rapace.

Check out the other half, below:

Do you think they’ll get any backlash for being the whitest Hollywood issue again? And on a side note, did you notice the lion cub that Rashida is feeding? That’s crazy!

And who else thinks that Rashida and Garrett both look strange in this picture? On first glance, I thought Garrett was actually Kevin Connolly! And don’t you just love Anne Hathaway’s dress — and holy hotness at the guys in suits!

If you’re wondering who’s kissing on Justin Bieber, you won’t find that inside the pages of the latest issue of Vanity Fair. What you will find is the Biebs talking about suffering from insomnia, how crazy he is and finding balance.

He said, “I’m crazy, I’m nuts. Just the way my brain works. I’m not normal. I think differently – my mind is always racing. I’m just…nuts. But I think the best musicians probably are.”

He went on to reveal, “I just turn over all night and think. My mind races. I think about all the things I didn’t have time to think about during the day – like family and God and things that should be more important but you don’t have time to think about, because you just gt caught up in everything else during the day.

Here are more excerpts from the interview!

On where he sees himself in the future
“I see myself just growing. I didn’t know that any of this was really possible. I grew up in a really small town with not a lot of money, and I liked singing, but it was just something that was a hobby. As I get into it more, I want to grow as an artist, as an entertainer, and basically perfect my craft. I want to be the best that I can be.”

On the challenges of trying to be a regular teenager
“It’s hard to really balance myself. A regular kid, if he catches the flu, he just gets to go home, but I can’t do that…. Everything is important. But, you know, my sanity is important, too. Even if I’m angry, I’ll just put a smile on my face and fake it. I don’t often fake it—what’s me is me….I know I have to give up a lot of myself, or a lot of a private life.”

On who influences him in music
“Music is music, and I’m definitely influenced by Michael Jackson and Boyz II Men and people who were black artists—that’s what I like. But I like their voices and I like how they entertain—it’s not about what color they are.”

According to reports, Justin Bieber is gearing up for his very first cover for Vanity Fair. Reportedly, the Biebz will grace either the February or March 2011 cover of the publication.

Depending on how the magazine approaches this cover, it could do wonders for Justin. Otherwise, it could cause destruction of the image that he’s been working so hard to build. It’s hard for them to screw up a cover so bad, like they did for Miley Cyrus’ half naked cover, but let’s not give them any credit just yet.

Do you think they should have him grace the cover?

In her new interview with Vanity Fair, Lindsay Lohan talks about wanting her career back, never abusing prescription drugs and her dad, Michael Lohan. (continue reading…)

Lady Gaga appears on the cover of the September 2010 issue of Vanity Fair UK and she appears to be completely nude.

Think that’s her poker face? And what’s up with that cover story? “Who is she? Why is she? Should you worry?”

In the pages of the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, Angelina Jolie shows off a new tattoo that she got for partner, Brad Pitt.

When asked what the deal is behind the new tattoo, she would only say, “Um, іt’s fοr Brad.” She declined to give any further explanation of the tattoo or tell anyone what it says exactly.

For a closer look, click after the jump! (continue reading…)

According to WWD, the editor of Vanity Fair, Graydon Carter, has chosen Lady Gaga to be their September cover girl.

Reportedly, the singer is Graydon’s choice for the cover of the September Style Issue, and is said to be getting photographed by Nick Night.

Move over, dead people. Sources say Vanity Fair is plotting to put a real, live celebrity on its September cover — and one of the most in-demand at that: Lady Gaga.

WWD reports:

A Vanity Fair spokeswoman wouldn’t say whether the magazine was getting on the Gaga train — understandably, perhaps, in case something goes awry. “It’s our policy to not talk about future covers or stories, whether we are or are not working on them,” she said.

Awesome news. I can’t wait to see her cover, I’m sure it will be fabulous!

Tila Tequila is a Twitter quitter (for now) – Amy Grindhouse

Michael Buble loves sex, cake & pot – Hollywood Dame

Britney Spears loses Grammy to Lady Gaga – Poor Britney

Kevin Jonas’ wife Danielle takes off – I Need My Fix

Lady Gaga channels Marilyn Manson – Dipped In Cream

More Robert Pattinson hotness – Ten Gossip

Vanity Fair covers hot, young and new Hollywood – Celeb Dirty Laundry

Video: Craig Ferguson in a dress! – Busy Bee Blogger

Rip Torn enters rehab – Gone Hollywood

Razzies announce 2009 nominations – Allie Is Wired