Her royal pretentious snob and highly overrated douche, Gwyneth Paltrow, has an apparent body odor problem. According to reports, while attending the prestigious Met Gala this year (the same one she called “boring”), Gwynnie was stinking pretty badly. Even worse, no one had the guts to inform her of her issue.
A source revealed, “Poor Gwyneth looked picture perfect, but it must have been the hot lights that caused her to be a little strong on the nose. It was pretty pungent, and I don’t think she had a clue. I saw at least two people wave their hands in front of their noses after passing her.”
The snitch continued, “Gwyneth has heard that aluminum is supposedly carcinogenic, and that putting aluminum-based deodorant directly on the sensitive armpit glands can increase the chances of breast cancer.”
Our pal on the inside added, “If she’s trying out new deodorants, she’s bound to fail with some of them. But Gwyneth tells pals she’d rather be smelly than dead.”
The next thing we’ll see is Gwyneth pimping out some GOOP-inspired aluminum-free deodorant on her official website for $1500. Ha. Don’t laugh, though — it could happen.