Snooki signed a fiction book deal

This news makes me weep for all of the potential young writers out there who have something genuine to contribute, but will never get a chance because stupid short midget reality stars who use words like “guido” and “fist pump” are taking up all of the good opportunities to write about crap that no one cares about in order to secure more money than it costs to purchase a house in the lowest-income area of the ghettos that we’re all forced to live in because our jobs pay ten dollars an hour and we’re living paycheck to paycheck, making minor ducket in a dead end job, working for a boss who could give a crap less about how we feel about overtime and vacation pay and only wants to see productivity levels rise because that’s all his boss cares about, and you know what happens if he gets yelled at, that crap trickles downward to us minions who end up getting fired and living on the street because one little spreadsheet was missing a zero and now we’re homeless and begging for change on the corner, hoping that no one calls the cops on us for panhandling.

I blame Snooki.

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