Stewie’s Banned Song ‘The List’ From ‘Family Guy’ & Lyrics

Genius. Just genius. Apparently, this was whacked from an episode of “Family Guy“. It’s a shame that the censors are deciding for us what we’re allowed to hear.

But thanks to Youtube, we can enjoy!

Here are the lyrics, transcribed by yours truly, after the jump!

Stewie: “Also, as I’ve had quite enough of the fat man, anyone who sees Peter Griffin must throw apples at him.”

[Peter goes into a bank to make a deposit and the teller throws an apple at him, saying it’s the law]

Stewie: “Now, I have no doubt that perhaps there may exist some mild discontent among some of you, at the recent changes I have implemented. Lest you be considering any sort of uprising, I warn you, I’m quite prepared to make an example of any undesirable elements. And don’t think I don’t know who you are.”

As someday it may happen
that a victim must be found
I’ve got a little list
I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground

And who never would be missed
Who never would be missed

There’s the white kid with the baggy clothes who’s talking like he’s black
The girl you date who doesn’t get the jokes in Caddyshack

The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line
And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her vagine

And Bill O’Reilly’s ineffective dermatologist

They’d none of them be missed
They’d none of them be missed

He’s got them on the list
He’s got them on the list

And they’d none of them be missed
They’d none of them be missed

There’s the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool
And Senator Bill Frist
I’ve got him on the list

And the fat kid smiling warmly while he’s peeing in the pool
He never would be missed
He never would be missed

There’s the foul smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage
And every bleeding member of the cast of Entourage

And while we’re on the subject, HBO deserves a whack
For ending the Sopranos with a fucking cut to black

And guys who when you shake their hands just bump you with their fist
I don’t think they would be missed
I’m sure they’d not be missed

He’s got them on the list
He’s got them on the list
And they’d none of them be missed

There’s the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane
And Shakira’s lyricist
I’ve got him on the list

And the smarty on Thanksgiving who says, “It’s the tryptophan”
He never would be missed
He never would be missed

There’s the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife
“You know, someone should do a sitcom based around my life”

The guy who watched the Simpsons back in 1994
And won’t admit the damn thing isn’t funny anymore

And anyone and everyone whose ever made me pissed

I’ve got them on the list
They’d none of them be missed
He’s got them on the list
And they’d none of them be missed
They’d none of them be missed
None of them be missed

Too funny.

Share: