Two And A Half Men continues to blaze on with Ashton Kutcher — with a brand spankin’ new episode tonight. This one is titled, Frodo’s Headshots and it deals with Alan’s hospitalization. If you’ve missed last week’s episode, titled, Thanks For The Intercourse, click here for our recap and get all caught up.
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.
After Alan gets released from the hospital, things go from bad to worse as he learns that he’s being audited. It gets even worse when Jake tells Alan that he’s going to be a dad. Fittingly enough, while he’s in the hospital, Alan finds that he’s sharing a room with Gary Busey.
We’ll be covering the show tonight, so stay tuned for our handy recap!
Twenty-eight days after checking into the mental institution, Alan is finally leaving. As the nurse is discharging him, she tells him they had a pool going to see how long it would take to get him toilet trained again. She tells him she’s got another $100 on the fact that he’ll be back before Christmas.
His roommate pulls back the curtain and it’s Gary Busey! He wants a hug from Alan before he leaves. He tells him he loves him. Oh crazy Gary…
Jake picks Alan up and asks if he’s not crazy anymore. Alan said he wasn’t actually “crazy”, then Jake asks, “Then why were you in the nut house?”
Jake then tells his dad that his girlfriend, Megan, is “kinda” pregnant and is still in “her first semester.”
Alan asked what about all of the talks about using protection and safe sex, to which Jake informs him that he was drunk. Jake said that they’re going to support the baby by quitting school and getting jobs in advertising. He explains that as teaching the baby to talk and putting it in e-trade commercials.
Jake tells Alan to tell his mother about the baby. Alan asks why he has to tell him and he says that she already hates him (Alan) and she scares the crap out of him (Jake).
Walden greets Alan with a warm hug and a “welcome home buddy”. Jake tells Walden that he’s going to be a dad, and then tells his father that if it’s a boy, he’s going to name it Frodo. Berta comes in and laughs off Jake becoming a dad. She secretly asks Walden if he told Alan his “news”. Walden says, “It’ll keep.”
Alan opens his mail and he finds a check from the IRS, and Jake tells him to set some of that aside for Frodo’s head shots. He reads the letter to find that he’s actually being audited. Afterward, Alan has invited Judith and her boyfriend, along with Jake and Megan for a sit down chat. Alan tells them that Jake and Megan “have some news”, to which Judith says, “Oh my God, she’s pregnant!”
Jake says, “That was easy, who wants cake?” Walden comes in with Judith and Herb’s kid and tells them that she looks like Alan. Alan and Judith then start yelling at Jake for getting Megan pregnant. Berta asks Walden when he’s going to tell them his news and he says that he doesn’t want to make things worse.
Alan describes his audit to Berta as a “brutal prison rape with a number two pencil.” He tells her the IRS claims he owes them $80,000. Afterward, Lindsey comes downstairs and Alan calls her a sight for sore eyes. Then Walden comes down right behind her.
Walden tells Alan that he didn’t mean for him to find out that way. Alan is mad, asking him how he would’ve liked him to hear about it. Lindsey says that Alan has to see it from their viewpoint. Alan asks what their viewpoint is and she tells him that Walden is the best sex she’s ever had.
Alan asks how it happened and Walden tells him that Lindsey came over to check on him and started to cry when she found out where he was…and then, they were having sex. Alan is flipping out.
Walden then tells Alan that he has to move out, because it would be creepy if he’s downstairs listening while they have sex. Alan goes to get his things, but Walden tells him that they’ve already packed his stuff and put it in a storage place by the airport.
Alan goes out to the garage and puts a blanket in front of the garage door and says that he’s going to take a dirt nap. He turns his car on, but it ends up overheating. Alan goes to his mother’s and talks to her camera, telling her to let him in. She says in a weird accent that she’s not there and he yells at her that he had to give a truck driver a happy ending just to get there. She tells him to leave or she’s going to call the police.
Alan goes to the storage area and opens it to find his “welcome home Alan” sign hanging up inside. A woman walks up to Alan in the storage facility and asks for a flashlight. She introduces herself as Veronica Hastings and he asks if she comes there often. She says, “Not yet, but the night is young.”
Alan is talking to God, when Herb interrupts him. Herb tells him that he had a DNA test done on his daughter Millie and as it turns out, she’s Alan’s daughter. He pulls out a gun and shoots Alan.
Just then, Alan wakes up at the mental institution, yelling, “Herb, no!” It was all a dream! Jake picks Alan up from the hospital in Walden’s car. Jake asks if it’s too soon to talk about something important. Alan tells him he can talk to him about anything. He says, “Remember Megan?” and Alan is thinking about the pregnancy chat from the dream. Jake tells him that Megan wants to see other people, but he wants to keep it “monotonous”.
Alan says, “You mean she’s not pregnant?” Jake says, “No, I’ve been stuck at third base for months.” Jake is looking for advice on how to keep a woman from leaving him. Alan gives him a deadpan look and Jake asks how the food was in there.
Jake is taking Walden’s car over to Megan’s in hopes that it helps him “slide into home”, Alan yells to him to wear protection. He yells back that hes’ “wearing it now”.
Walden comes downstairs to greet Alan in the same soft voice. Walden has already had the place redecorated with a computer that accepts voice commands to turn the lights and music on and off. He has also hooked up the refrigerator to the internet and calls his phone to tell the fridge to make ice.
Everything is voice command-oriented, but it all only accepts Walden’s commands. So Alan will have to call Walden so that he can call the fridge for ice. The television set is also on voice command and it’s huge.
Alan tells him that now that his brother is gone and all of his stuff is gone, he realizes that this is not his home. Walden asks if he’s going to move out and he says, “God no” and that he was just realizing the absurdity of their situation.
Walden tells him to bring it in for a hug and cues the music, which is playing I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.